Joy, per se...

[anirbas]

I don't feel joy, per se, anymore...
But, that doesn't mean, I'm blind
to the joy about and around me...

Joy glistens from my daughter's eyes
when she pets a puppy
or holds a kitty
or a baby...

We females
are such silly
creatures...
Even at eleven
put a baby in our arms,
we melt at those innocent charms...

Joy bubbles out of her in giggles
when I take her to another silly
Hilary Duff or Lindsay Lohan movie...
Or buy her that new pair of shoes
or school locker magnets,
she's been coveting...

I don't feel joy, per se, anymore...
But, that doesn't mean, I'm blind
to the joy about and around me...

Joy spills from my grandson's face
as he watches Granny spin
circles like a dancing bear,
laughing and grinning at him,
to stop his first sick
with the oogies
fussing bout...

Infants
can be amused
by the silliest things
and desperate
to shut them
up beings...

But, it worked!
He went from
crying in his mother's lap,
to chortling at the silly woman,
spinning circles and singing out his name...

Their joy, my daughter's and my grandson's...
I long, wish I could drink, soak and syphon
their joy with the everyday moments
of the world into me...

And maybe, just maybe,
if I could...A seed of their
innocent in it's purity joy
would be planted in me
to grow, bud
and bloom
within,
again...

Probably not...
But, it's worth a try...
Besides, I don't have a thing to lose trying...
I'm already the walking dead...I don't feel joy, per se...
Anymore...But, I'm not blind...I know it when I see it...
So, I draw close to the warmth of them...
To warm the chilled marble of my fingers and spirit...

[dawness]

smashin gift here, sabs! to be ambivalent but sure that there is joy in pain... the polarity is striking. whew!

[anirbas]

ggglgggl...glad i smashed ya, Aurora...the polarities in this nearlife are striking and smoting the holy hell outta me...so, i'm requesting of the powers that be...whomever is on call up there, today...little more joy, deities...whole lot less pain...okie dokie, folks? this nirling is tiring...i need a g.d. break, celestial people! ggglgggl...i ain't holding my breath waiting for a miracle though...i'm gonna create peace or die trying...i'm thinking, disownment has a nice ring...LOL...warning...meandering mind on site in plain sight...LOL...blessed be, sweets! Nir.