to be a poet

[anirbas]

WOW! The views have doubled to 500, TL! Sheesh...
Just slipped by to say BOO at you and noticed that information...
You be jamming and slamming some readers in here...Great work!!!!!!!
Keep it up and hope you're doing better...Getting at least a few of the simple
things you need to be more comfortable...Me? I'm finally feeling more human
after my medication snafu of the other day...LOL...So, glad it was here
I lost it...Started to clean the scene out of here...Decided what for? It's already
been read as this is one popular thread...LOL...I've been getting lots
of quality sleep this week and taking lots of walks and my memory is slowly returning to me...
Doctor David put me on a prescription of rest and recovery...
If anyone is taking thyroid meds, don't do like me and accidently
take two pills in a day's time instead of one...It will make you crazy...
And do some very weird things to your body, your metabolism and your mind...
And even after all the extra hormones pass out of your body, it takes a few days
to recover from the flood of hormones that hit your body all at once like a flashflood...LOL...
Take care, Cleveland...Thanks again for being the friend you are
and being the asset you are to this place...As you say, in spirit, Sabrina.

[anirbas]

Cleaning house, realized I forgot to ask you...

You are doing portrait paintings, again, yes?

Do you take pictures of your work? And if so,
and if you're set up to do so, would you consider
sharing your work with us on the Art board?

Or are there ramifications to doing this I'm not aware of...
Such as you need permission from the subject to do so?

Anyway, just thoughts drifting through my head...

Breaks over for me...Back to the housecleaning spree! LOL.

[tolteclogic]

Thanks Nir,

there is a dark stain
on the moon tonight
bloody red
at full eclipse
just above the pines
dispersed
the final shadows fade
harbinger of change
things to come
as yet unseen
the tides of time
will shift


had to delete the rest of it
to late with to little rest
I hope to have some new
pics on disk soon...
it's been 14 years since
i've really worked with
my pastles and my
portfolio of slides
went missing
quite some time ago
interesting story in itself
living with the pagan
high priestess
the self proclaimed
rainbow warrior
a dark vortex
from which
no light
would escape
except for me
and yes i had seen
this too all in a dream
of epic proportions
like so many
major turning points
in my life... this
was the truest
education not all
things spiritual are equal
we need to make
distinctions where
enourmous egos and
dysfunctions
abound...


I've recently re-learned
the true irony within
my neighbors name
black Tara is said
to be the greatest
of all hindu gods
the source from
which Kali is issued
and in my dream that
was the image i had
seen prior to this
receding episode
in my life education
but there were
no redeeming
qualities within
this black hole
in the universe
devourer of men
something new
in my experience
the image behind
the veneer - then
six months later
she would appear
moves in next door

but it has always been
like this with my dreams
held in precognition
and seldom do i
understand the significance
until i find myself
in that moment of
final recognition
being tested
and i say oh yea
now i remember
my dream
and all this time
i had been thinking
that my dentist
was into some
really bad medicine
after all she bore
a striking resemblance
to the image in my dream
and there wasn't anyone
else in my life at that
time to fit the description
i was relieved to know
that it wasn't her


today (now yesterday) i had a chance
to speak my mind
it felt good asserting myself
even though it was a little
to little to late - she said
in front of all her friends
standing on my front
porch with my phone
in her hand
as i am attempting
to sale that old wrecked
volvo in my front yard -
{which had rolled
closer to the road
when my new
sound system
was stolen
during my travels
last year} -
she said 'You
don't want
to call 'me' out"
obviously
grandstanding
playing to the hood
to which i said,
"You'd loose"
and then I proceeded
to tell her why
in very few words
all the while carrying on
this negotiation...
she went silent

seems i haven't
slept in forever
all the result of
one small kindness
sure you may
use my phone...
where would be
the harm in that?
now here we are
three months later
my constant
uninivited guest
she moved
yesterday
the next town
over heading south
i slept well last night

never did get that $30 dollars

~*~*~*~

time for meditation

things are getting better

looks like i have
found a good room mate
a real stand up responsible
fellow easy going - needs
a place to rest between
his numerous women
yes a real casanova
who drives a Benz....
said he won't be
here all that often
but happy to
share the rent
comes from old money
and a life of privilege
we can agree
on many things
except the drinking
but that is not my
problem but for
him an accident
waiting to happen
said i can drive
his volvo any
time i need it
for water
or whatever

a good turn of events

[tolteclogic]

Hey Nir,

About those pics i had tried once to down
load according to that site David suggested
and it nearly killed my computer i worry
about spywear etc. besides i have not
painted anything in nearly 14 years...
the portrait I am doing came with photos
of the last portrait i had done, as soon as
this is finished i hope to have this one
put on disk and perhaps get these friends
to e-mail a digitized version of the other
after my slides were absconded i've
had little or no record to represent my
work but i feel quite certain they came
in handy for all the spells and curses
i have incurred maybe 8 years ago
escaping that incredible
negative vortex of complete
and utter debauchery

[tolteclogic]

They say let it go
Don't disturb the injured past
Awaken the sleeping Dragon
And pay the consequence
Progenitors of lies...
Your Aunt Judy
The Pentacostal pulpit Minister
Tells you
leave dead dogs lie
"The more you stir a pile of shit
The worse it's going to stink"
But I don't accept
this analogy
For my life
How many redeemed drug dealers
Preach to the pulpit
In total acceptance
Unquestioned
Sinister
Shysters full of shit
The double blind analogy
The dead leading the blind
agreeing to judge equally
all who fail to comply
or
captitulate
to
Closed minded myopia

this passage has always bothered me
not at all with regard to the inherent
'close minded myopia' that goes without
saying just part of the unnatural
landscape such that it is, but in the
implied comparison with low life
"Sinister
Shysters full of shit". I wish to go
on record as saying that no such
comparison exist. Sure i experimented
in the 70's, who didn't back then, but
once i got it and understood the tresh-
hold of awakening, i could see the truth
that was contained in that little
book by Ram Dass called 'Be Here Now"
and the story of his Guru who when
ingesting a huge quantity of LSD
much to the shock of Dr. Richard Albert
an interesting thing would happen...
which was absolutely 'nothing'.
Albert was completely and utterly
amazed and for him this was like
a complete and utter revelation
revealing the constructs of
our western notion of personal
histories and the conditioned mind.
All the Guru would say after several
hours of 'nothing' was that 'this
is good medicine for the West.'
It can be good and productive
up to a certain point, but after
that can do far more harm than good.
Leary had it all wrong. With proper
training that state of bliss that
so many seek through the drug
experience is our readily available
innate natural state of being
shrouded in conditioning. Whereas
Leary would worship the supreme
intelligence of man and ultimately
follow the path of Crowley, Albert
had quite naturally moved in the
opposite direction. Unfortunately
fame has it's own cost and consequences
and over time it would appear these
lines of distiction became less clear as
the New Age revolution of Crowley
swept the spiritual arenas esposing
sexual magick as the true key to
the universe.

Now growing up in the deep south
bible belt small town utopia of total
either or thinking, digging deeper
and deeper into the real and true
mystery of existence, i pretty much
already understood the essential truth
as noted from the observations of Albert in
the above long before I had ever read the
book 'Be Here Now'. What i wasn't prepared
for was the revelation of liberation from
this prison of past conditioning at the
initial point of awakening back in the
spring of 1977. But after a varitable
intensive three day virtual inquisition
suddenly it dawned on me the true
immensity of my mistake. Because
although 'in truth there is nothing to
hide', in reality if we hope to survive
we need to practice the simple art
of reasonable discretion and not
attract undue attention onto ourselves
such as I had done in a really big way.
Just because it is written in a book
does not mean that everyone is going
to understand, i was in for a rude
awakening from which i would be
fortunate to survive. I was cut up
dissected strung up and hung out to
dry, my entire life would become an
open book. I was to be demonized
vilified and crucified. And the shit was sure
to happen as well it did. Never-the-less
i would try to put it all behind me but
no one was willing to allow me to
forget and when the public hazings
failed to have the desired effect
the dogs of war would be turned
loose to finish the job. But i survived
all forms of character assasinations
only to realize in the end the strain on
my health was just to much as i
was forced to give up my scholarship
and discontinue my studies after
four years of near constant torture.
"And when a man hears the call of
his heart and cry of his spirit we say
that such a one is possessed of a
madness and 'we' cleanse ourselves
of him.'
Kahlil Girbran

[soulfir3]

powerfully moving work, TL. I wait with abated breath to read much more of you

[tolteclogic]

thanks Soul,

the plot thickens
and...
there is a parting gift
here on my phone
returning home
from my near daily
wal-mart water run
my land lady tells me
plain cloths detectives
were camping
on my door step
the whole time i'm gone
seems now
i am part of a murder
investigation - they had
mug shots and a description
of the car and of course
numerous calls to
my home phone
guess someone put those
bullets that were found
in my yard to some use
but i wouldn't call it good
otherwise all things
have been quiet
here on the home front
but still i feel violated...
and abused

guess they must have
caught the guy or found
bigger fish to fry
it's getting late and
there have been
no further
knocks at my door

hope to get some
painting done
still haven't been
able to catch up
on my rest...

[tolteclogic]

I suffer complications from this
poorly built leg and must stay off
of it as much as possible - just
going to the dentist getting
those root canals has exascerbated
the alergic reaction that just won't
go away as long as i continue to
ware this leg. It truly feels good to know
that now i can survive here on my art
without having to kill myself for a
dollar. But you know i always will
be handy around the house it is
just in my blood I kinda like fixing
things... this week i go back to
Duke and hope to soon begin the
process of getting a new leg built
one that fits and won't fall off while
riding a bicycle... you see many
irons still in the fire...

~*~*~*~


As it turns out when we become "Enlightened"
the public outcry is not to find out how such a thing
could be possible but to effectively dig up and unearth
anything and everything that might discredit the
person - this is after all human nature. You
see in my release from the bondage of the past
i had failed to recognize the warnings that were
posted all along the way and so my education was
to be greatly accelerated as a result of my own
ignorance of this world and somehow I have survived.
It is important to point out that by the time i was
ready to enroll in the University I had already realized
the significant importance of 'hidden practice' but by then
it was way to late. Once that proverbial cat is out of the
bag there is no putting it back, i must say it was an
invaluable education. As Gibran would say, "Wisdom
stands on the street corner and calls to us above the
multitude but we deem her a thing without worth and
dispise them that follow her."



This Burden

I did not ask for this burden
when one becomes two
In a moment
everything changes
that is when a teacher is needed
- chop wood carry water -
this is only the beginning
As the old Shaman will tell his
apprentice
'I am sorry that you have become
enlightened,
Now get back to work'
Waking up is nothing
living it free and undetected
in a world without vision
that is the challenge
How do you speak a laungage
that has no words?



In The Dark

We can live in the dark
without a spark
And call this the light
We can live all our life
In obediance to ignorance
and call this divine
We can worship our own
intelligence and believe
that what we achieve
is worth the price
Who is at the helm?
We are a nation of fools
In a world spun out of control
In our bid for power
Without honor or humility
there is no impeccability
We neglect the totality
of the Self


Always the shit begins
in the same way...
You are minding
your own business
and there is a knock
at your door or
someone pulls
you into a conversation
to extend and invitation
which invaribly you
respectfully decline
but in every case as
if their life depended
on it - they won't
take no for an answer
and against your
better judgement
you give in...
this is significant
because you see
people everyday
driving and drinking
from morning to night
and some how
get away with it
but one night
out of the year
you agree
to be sociable
and share a couple
of beers you get
busted inspite
of having a designated
driver - the very first
one of which the big
birthday boy turns
out to be a future
cop of american
who knew a whole
lot more about cars
than I did - he worked
in the auto parts store
but soon as we past
the local gathering
place for cops
Paul's Place
world famous hotdogs
he begain to have
car trouble we both
knew that the fuel
pump was weak
(he had been driving
the car 'My car' all
night all the way
to Wilmington and
beyond) suddenly
he could no longer
get it to work
and insisted that
I get under the
wheel and show
him how its done
but only after
getting me
good and drunk
i had essentially
quit drinking
and prefered to spend
my money of books
yet his brother
was determined
we were going to
have a goood time

yep so once again
i reluctantly agreed
he pulled over
on the side of the
road, i got under
the wheel and
the blue light
came on...
just that quick

I was told long
ago that if ever
once i lost my
license for the
first time in this
neck of the woods
the shit was sure
to begin and so
it did - but i
never really
understood
what this meant
until it finally
happened
to me... (I had
cost the insurance
companies a lot
of money when
Kerry fell asleep
at the wheel and
had nearly
killed everyone
in my car just the
year before - but
here once again
against my better
judgement i allowed
him talk me into
taking the rap
for it, which he
wouldn't have been
to achieve
on his own without
enlisting the help
of the seriously
injured girls to
plead on his behalf
for the good of
everyone concerned
but not for me
so i have no right
or reason to complain
it was my choice
and i would have
to live with the
consequences
perhaps for the
rest of my life....)



but of course when i
finally got out
of jail and was
dropped off
at my car
there was no
mechanical problem
it strated right up
and i drove it
straight home
i was just a kid
in highschool
small town justice

people seem
to think
they can treat
you differently
if they believe
you are some
sort of criminal
guilty of
incompetence
and with my
health problems
at the time
there wasn't
a whole lot i
could say about it
progressive
indeterminate
conscription
to hell
most of the
time a shadow
of my former
self this
body obstructed
was my prison
which inspired
me to seek
solutions
and ultimately
create an
awakening
out of nothing
which is everything

[dawness]

words of wisdom slipped into
pages of my hands
only to hear that inner whining
that what resides within
resides outside.
light.
oh light.

[tolteclogic]

yes that is the problem with the
past once we make it 'present'
again how do we appear to
let it go? And yet after so
many years when the
injustice is once more
leveraged against
us we are presented
with an opportunity
and a choice
we can turn
and fight
stand our ground
that is why i am a poet...

yet we should not mistake
the description for any
thing more than the
words on paper

probably should delete
much of the above post
being so disjointed

everyone knows that
enlightenment is
a terrible topic

[tolteclogic]

moving through exahastion
into obstruction remain
content as the body mends

[soulfir3]

We can live in the dark
without a spark
And call this the light
We can live all our life
In obediance to ignorance
and call this divine
We can worship our own
intelligence and believe
that what we achieve
is worth the price
Who is at the helm?
We are a nation of fools
In a world spun out of control
In our bid for power
Without honor or humility
there is no impeccability
We neglect the totality
of the Self

I understand this on so many levels - physically it has taken its toll, but also spiritually.
Becoming tired and dysfunctioning within and outside of my daily life - thank you for sharing yourself with us, for letting those who need it, know that they are not alone with their dark and often isolating thoughts

[tolteclogic]

the poor misbegotten and persecuted
pagan wickin warrior witches
takes no prisoners changes all
within it's path and denigates
any who beg to differ is no
better than the religion they hate
and what of all this stollen lightening?
forces of nature bent or distorted
to ones own bidding great sorcery
demons and wizards nacromancers
divine? all perfectly innocent fun...
for the misfits disempowered disinfranchised
bitter pretentious disaffected there is
power in numbers sexual second coming
a light that shines darkly into hidden places
revealing powers with limitations a
bargain for the soul that is spent and used up
and of no earthly value burnt at the alter
of unabidding pleasurses that can never last


~*~*~*~

thank you Soul,...

woken, wishing, willing we heal
the dark and injured places
and turn our pain into the
beauty of creation

and

A note to whom it may concern:

sometimes we feel compelled to respond -
words within fire the hidden most aspects
of who we are and regrettably some will
be offened but do not make the mistake
of presuming innocence for weakness
or purity of intention for lack of resolve
where we are pressed in defense of
the highest good... where push comes
to shove i stand by my convictions

[tolteclogic]

If we go back to Taoist teachings what becomes
clear is that the word 'Enlightenment" is vastly
and clearly misunderstood.

Was a guick start to a very long day
no time to think just post and run...

~*~*~*~

The subtal perception of the way things are
The soft overcomes the hard...
The slow overcomes the fast...
The Tao never does anything
yet through it all things are done...
If you want to shrink something
you must first allow it to expand...
If you want to get rid of something
you must first allow it to flurish...
If you want to take something
you must first allow it to be given...

Tao te Ching



Fire in The Sky

Open awareness unobscured
Wholly integrated with
the celestial design
One integral principle
where all that is good
is ultimately assembled
clarified quality of illumination
pristine state of completeness

great and small are unflawed
illumination is the function
strength is the substance
firmness and flexibility
are both complete
one's energy flows


"Human life in the world has a mission,
which alone is important; with this direction
there is life, without there is death. If one cannot
find happiness in this mission, this direction, this
order, everything else is empty and false."

Taoist I Ching



"Enlightenment is not a doctrine. It is not Jesus or Buddha
or Mohammed. When you become enlightened it can come
about through a very small and ordinary thing. You see,
the most difficult thing for someone to accept is the plain-
ness of their life. To discover magnificence in every moment
of a simple life is truly life's greatest reward."

Hua-Ching Ni

[anirbas]

the poor misbegotten and persecuted
pagan wickin warrior witches
takes no prisoners changes all
within it's path and denigates
any who beg to differ is no
better than the religion they hate
and what of all this stollen lightening?
forces of nature bent or distorted
to ones own bidding great sorcery
demons and wizards nacromancers
divine? all perfectly innocent fun...
for the misfits disempowered disinfranchised
bitter pretentious disaffected there is
power in numbers sexual second coming
a light that shines darkly into hidden places
revealing powers with limitations a
bargin for the soul that is spent and used up
and of no earthly value burnt at the alter
of unabidding pleasurses that can never last

~TL.

Still tagging along, Cleveland...Got a bit tickled at the above...Not because it's not written well...Or because I think what you said was silly...Was just wondering, did you get inspired by another debate with some "full blown" Pagans somewhere, old chap? LOL

Enjoyed catching up in here. Hope all is looking up for you.
Have you finished that portrait painting, yet? Just wondering...
I'm always amazed at how many different creatively artistic things poets actually turn their hands and minds to besides writing...Take care.

S.
;D

[bichsa]

I am in awe at the travels of your life and the gift you have ,I'll keep reading for others lives are far deeper than we realize.Much peace to you C!

[tolteclogic]

Thanks for asking Nir,

Jim Carry is in the that new movie '23' which
to me seems counter intuitive to the typical
Holly Wood theme ie, 'Ninth Gate' etc, etc...

say Namaste

Everyone has a theory of
how it's supposed to be
this idea of awakening
free of temporal
conditioning
Very similar systems
of knowing exist…
Some say the Ego
is most important
and claim that
any who would
ascend beyond
this most limited
conditioning
are merely deluded
ineffectual nihilistic quietist.
They also embrace the
advice of disembodied spirits
other dimentional beings
who promise a great awakening
sometime tomorrow…
Dog Star 23 synchronicity
sexual alchemy
say Namaste...

Typically anytime the topic of enlightenment is
brought up in the traditional sense pagans
are usually among first to be offended
or hyper-vigilant in protesting - arguments
to the contrary. When I say pagan I use that
term loosely to cover a broad spectrum of belief
which if you peel back all the layers goes back
to work of Alister Crowley who is the progenitor
of this whole New Age Goddess revival and most
are so caught up in the thrill of it all they simply
fail or refuse to recognize the connection, but
merely parrot talk the same sad old arguments
which have not changed all that much since the 50's:
Which is to say sexual sacrament is the key to illumi-
nation or awakening, but i wouldn't call it enlightenment
as so many would presume or attempt to promote in to-
day's New Age and pagan commuities. Somehow there is
the presumption that Taoist teachings would support
this argument but my research proves the contrary.

So yes, i get attacked and slandered quite often for
speaking the truth. I really hate to burst little bubbles
of erroneous conclusions, however the awakened life
is much less complicated than any of all that. But of
course there can be no forced eradication of negative
influences in our habitual patterns of being, which is
why the Tao would appear to be supportive of
popular trends.


if i might digress here:

the "voice of Babalon"
and the Goddess revival...


Birth of the 'New Age'


Magickal Call to Arms
Lucifer Rising...
Manifesto of the Anti-Christ
Heaven’s Gate
Thelemites continue
to await their
Chaos Messiah
So called
Luciferian agents of wisdom
new forms of gnosis
An end to all
subservile virtues,
and superstitious restrictions
'Outside the Circles of Time'?
activate the occult forces
crack open
the Apocalyptic gateway
and they call this rebirth?
psycho-sexual
magickal insurrection
Birth of The New Age
what alchemy is
this so-called cosmic
perfection of mankind?
a Thelemic messiah
birth of the 'moonchild'
a *living* female
the Scarlet Woman
consort to the Antichrist
bride of the Beast 666
mythos of Thelema
‘Do What Thou Wilt’
Birth of the New Age
Sisters of Babalon


"For I am BABALON, and she my daughter,
unique and there shall be no other
women like her." -The Book of Babalon
Jack Parsons
aka Anti-Christ Super Star
hierarchical
successor to Therion


'It was many thousand years ago, before histories were written, that the change came. We must turn our memories even farther. why can we not, who sprang from those loins, though it be long ago, the age of Isis that is mistakenly called the matriarchy. It is not a matriarchy as we imagine it, a rule of clubwomen, or frustrated chickens. It is an equality. The woman is the priestess, in her reposes the mystery. She is the mother; brooding yet tender; the lover; at once passionate and aloof, the wife, revered and cherished. She is the witch woman. It is coequal. Undifferentiated, the man, chieftain, hunter; husband, lover; thinker; doer. The woman, priestess, guardian of the mystery, sibyl of the unconscious, prophetess of dreams. Thus balance; stability.
'Then, catastrophe untellable, the patriarchy, archtypified by the demonic monosexual monster; Jehova. And now, in the rule of priests, woman is an inferior animal, man a superior god, isolated, and at the mercy of his merciless intelligence. It is war, total war without quarter; between the emotions that must and the intellect that will not. Every religion in the patriarchy is a self contradictory monstrosity - Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, Mohammedism, facism, communism, democracy, science and every other faith of the historical world. It is dogma, creed based on axioms that shift like straws in the wind of the intellect, and upon this shifting structure man has failed, and must fail, for he knows their futility and fights for them with all the sick fury of frustration. He knows that he is a little boy playing with erector toys and chemical sets, playing cops and robbers in a game that goes too far.'

John Parsons


Luminiferous Ether
Space-Time Continuum
Qabalistic Tree of Life
Map of the Universe
Absolute Zero
Anything but nothing
Limitless Light
'Book of the Law'
Hermetic Order
of the Golden Dawn
Motion, Time or Matter
The Great Mother
Begets active existence
Sat, Chit, Ananda
The ultimate reality
'Sephiroth'
Concatenation of symbols
Begins with 'Nothing'
Without Limit
Limitless Light
Infinite Energy
Destruction and Annihilation
Sakti and Shiva
the tantric equation
Tetragrammaton
Post hoc propter hoc
Invocation and Evocation
Abramelin the Mage


Although there are quite interesting parallels that can be drawn
between the Taoist Cosmology and that of the Qabalists Tree of
Life, even to the extent that the eight trigrams plus absolute zero
can be layed out along a very similar or sympathetic glyph 'admir-
ably equivalent' to this notion of magical powers derived from
elemental forces of nature represented by some hierarchy of
angels, the light and the dark, or so-called good and evil -
Balance of the universe, i suspect that is where the
similarity ends.


Regarding the new teachings of Kabbalah

Of course every one knows who that member was,
who also subsequently added much of his own twist
on the teaching of kabbalah ie, AC.


Jack Parsons co-founder of Cal Tech was
a member of the Ordo Templi Orientis back
when Aleister Crowley was acting as outer head.
Much like Crowley's 'Book of the Law' Parsons
published 'The Book of the Anti-Christ' which, like
Crowley he claimed was dictated by a Higher
Intelligence calling for “an end to restriction and
inhibition, conscription, compulsion, regimentation
and the tyranny of laws.” He urged all truth-seekers
to practice Crowleyan sex-yoga. “Concentrate all
force and being in Our Lady Babalon.”

Or as Timothy Leary would say in a letter to
Robert A. Willson:
“I am interested in conversations with Higher
Intelligence - and know that Higher Intelligence
is not in the least interested in politics…
By the way, I have always felt that Crowley's
'Do What Thou Wilt' is good… The question then
becomes 'What do we will to do.' Most of the
Crowleyites I've met (yourself excluded)
seem to have decided they will
make pompous asses of themselves.
Which is fine with me. But I'm delighted we've
found the three obvious steps that a reasonable
educated God takes: SMI2LE.”
And this from a man who
thought of himself as Crowley
reborn sent to finish the work begun by
Crowley to prepare humanity for cosmic
consciousness. Is there not a softer
approach?
According to Francis Yates' 'Giordano Bruno
and the Hermetic Tradition' Bruno was the
first philosopher in history to suggest that
there is link between Tantric yoga and the
comunication with Higher Intelligence.

We are driven by what Gurdjiff would call
“the horror of our situation”

I hight Don Quixote, I live on peyote,
marijuana, morphine and cocain
I never know sadness but only madness
that burns at the heart of the brain.
I see each charwoman, ecstatic, inhuman,
angelic, demonic, devine.
Each wagon a dragon, each beer mug a flagon
that brims with ambrosial wine.

Jack Parsons, Feb 21, 1943
from
The Oriflamme
Journal of the O.TC.

~*~*~*~

Doesn't hold out much hope for the human race....

some things bare repeating...

say Namaste

Everyone has a theory of
how it's supposed to be
this idea of awakening
free of temporal
conditioning
Very similar systems
of knowing exist…
Some say the Ego
is most important
and claim that
any who would
ascend beyond
this most limited
conditioning
are merely deluded
ineffectual nihilistic quietist.
They also embrace the
advice of disembodied spirits
other dimentional beings
who promise a great awakening
sometime tomorrow…
Dog Star 23 synchronicity
sexual alchemy
say Namaste...

[tolteclogic]

Please don't misunderstand
don't get me wrong
really i'm not judging
anyone here just making
distinctions that should
be clear from what
i have seen from
personal experience
it is not necessary
for any one to
practice magick
to become enlightened
or to attain peace
within themselves
in fact i serious dought
that the two are at all
in any way compatible
or conducive to
similar results

[tolteclogic]

my phone bill is normally
around $90 but this
month when my bill
mysteriously turned
up missing and
i finally get around
to calling after my
neighbor has long
since departed
i'm not sure where
i will find the $277.20
as one last parting
gift in turn for all
my kindness
even if I finish
this portrait
way ahead
of schedual
it won't be
enough
to keep
my line
connected

Damn it