All These Things

[tolteclogic]

what are these dreams?
life that continues
does exist
will my enemies win
this near the new
beginning?
how far had i fallen
this too was sent
from heaven
i had seen it all
in a dream
each and every time
picked back up again
access to information
that defies all explanation
how is it we are able
to fold the fabric of time
in this way?
such dreams may come
as we are tested

[anirbas]

"life that continues
does exist"

~fragmentationing of Toltec verse.

adore that phrase, TL! good to see you ginning and spinning poeming
and roaming the halls of the Seasons. Sabrina.

[brandnewmessiah]

An excellent interpretation of our own being Toltec. ~ BNM

[tolteclogic]

the universe is split
a black hole into
which nothing escapes
and so it is this weakness
in the eyes of others
for which i am judged
the life of a single man
these people
those people
and it seems
me always
caught somewhere
in the middle of judgements
guilt by associations
connotations and suspicions
unintended connections
with highly questionable people

[tolteclogic]

thanks BNM , Sabrina ,

yes what better way to work
through the maze than to
take all that emotion and put
it to good use... still in the
company of some really dan-
gerous people guilt by
association this guy's way
of repaying his debt for all
the collect calls accepted
rerouted or connected
relaying messages because
i suppose he felt he had no
one esle to call - Why me?
Said he felt bad about how
badly his cousin had taken
advantage while she was
my neighbor running up
my phone bill ect. ect.
said he couldn't have beat
the rap otherwise with out
my help - in for attempted
homicide....

[tolteclogic]

i have made this my life
strange the concurrence
of curses that plague
me still... the crazy X
came calling again...
my psychic friends said
be very careful there are
dangerous hurtful people
out to get you by any means
necessary - how is it mental
illness goes unpunished
but for the needless havoc
in its negative wake of destruction
yes she calls again... now it seems
she had a new nemesis out to steal
her energy - i think she said entered
in through the ear and attack the
root chakra... thank god she has
found someone else to project
her fear on to other than me

she called right out of the blue just
as if none of this had ever happened
all the false accusations and projects
of pain and suffering a negative
vortex from which no light escapes
and she makes it dangerously real
spending all her money on metaphsical
protection 'if not for the "dolphin people"
she said, blocking and binding this most
recent evil' person the very shaman she
had enlisted to go after me now it seems
was out to steal her energy... blocking
her success by implanting archytypal
changes into her future by manipulating
the meanings in her tarot cards -
you tell me - all this is far more
bizarre berserk than i care to imagine
New Age metaphysical spiritualism
wiccan wingbat crazy people


and so now i am suppose to believe
that she was simply mistaken and that
none of that business the death threats
and all the black magic enlisted against
me didn't really matter... she claims
to be writing a book filled with her
phobias concerning her adventures
during the times we spent together
She is seriously ill and in quite some
need a psychological help i can hear
her taking notes as i attempt to point
out obvious flaws in her lack of objectivity
and this goes on for about a week
saying Oh, pay no attention to all that
stuff she had falsely accused me of
because she was just angry... she is
the only person i know who can live
so completely in the hell of her own
choosing creating fictions of all
unimaginable proportions and then
convince herself and almost any one
else they must be true - the worst
kind of hurtful slander... and all her
silly witchy friends completely buy
into it and indeed feed fuel to her
delusions telling her that everything
she fears must be true according
to the oracal soothsayer and then
provide the needed protection for
a hefty price - whatever pays the
bills, everybodies got to eat...
so two days ago i get this
crazy letter seems that now once
again it is me who is out
to get her energy...
poor superficial silly person
the last i heard she was ready
to call home land security on
to this unfortunate shaman
i advised her against it
inspite of all the bullshit
the two of them had put
me through... interesting
that when she called she
was surprised to find that
i wasn't incarcerated...
wasn't sure what this
meant until she came to
that place in her (so called)
book about calling the police
attempting to get me arrested
over a simple house plant
growing in my window
funny how last year i had
gotten this great sense of
danger and did away with
that innocent pleasure...
but the most disconcerting
hypothetical of all was her
assertion that this shaman
had sent some evil demons
to turn me into a black woman
yes she is completely nuts
but the strangest thing is
that right at about that time
i had seen this dreadful
image in a dream just
before the appearance
of this darkest of the dark
all consuming black neighbor
who in the dream was out to
devour me - not a place i
wanted to be... strange
symbolic coincidence no doubt
but that along with the spider bits
and the broken sculpture that for
no apparent reason toppled off
its perch at the end of one in
a great many dysfunctional
conversations... perhaps it is
as this Irish priest had assured
me, not unlike the power of prayer
the power of negative intent
should not be underestimated

[anirbas]

"the power of negative intent
should not be underestimated"

~*~

so totally agree with that...whew...T...I thought I knew some weird people...
this chick takes the cake and then some...goodness gracious, but she does...

[wistfuldragon]

Wow...the power is addictive...loved all the words here...

[tolteclogic]

Thanks Sabrina and WD, Seems there is so
little time lately for hanging out here as i
might like to mostly hit and run post
between landscaping gigs but aside from
a summer cold pitting my sails the work has
been good and all appears to be perfect
with the world such that it is....
good to know the read
was at least entertaining
but admittedly not
an experience
i care to repeat
in spirit
tl



In the grand over all scheme of things
transience is just passing through once
where there are no familiars
Act simply
without seeking anything
extranious - Stillness providing
nurturance, lucidity remaining intact
we observe the commotion of all things
yet contemplate their return
clear only to oneself but
not to others - One ejects extreme
intellectualism Unpreturbed like
a mountain resting stably
upon the earth transcending the
world while still in it... applying
illumination with stillness
resting in the untimate good

[wistfuldragon]

*applying illumination with stillness resting in the untimate good*
your use of words is wonderful...I really like reading your work...and to say about the others...it is how you write that brings me here to read...not the events...and I can say with no doubt that I hope you don't have to relive those events again...but the telling of them was great...powerful...I hope you can hang out more when the business slows or so...take care of your cold...ttyl...WD

[tolteclogic]

Something left over
a reminder
A survivng trace
or vestige...
Remnants of
a bygone era
nearly two years
have passed
since i got my wish
and landed
in a head on collison
please God i prayed
allow me more time to write
And Bam!!! just that quick
i get my wish now how
to make sense of the mess
free to live on disability?
but it doesn't pay the rent
working beneath our
petty tyrants we learn
our best how not
to take things personally
hard labor building construction
home additions or gut and re-do
the entire home from top to finish
or house painting in between the
social margins beneath the radar
of self importance
among the comfortably
numb pill poping hard core
alcohol abusers self medicated
contant perpetual dysfunction
welcome to 'its a wonderful life' or
so the licensed and bonded
might say... getting on one's feet
again means starting out
at the bottom all over again...
today i put all my hand tools away -
once i sort through all the cargo
carriers that had been
hidden away
beneath jack's bed
help for the rent
remnants of time
gone by
out of sight out of mind
funny how life changes
with the turn of a friendly card
i have found room in my closet
where all my tools will fit
once everthing is cleaned
and accounted for should be
able to make two boxs out of three
and then consolidate even more
being the agent of change
right on target
usher in a better future
death rebirth and transmutation
make people earn your trust
don't give yourself away
let yourself shine
a greater blend of harmony

[tolteclogic]

the Tao says 'Hope is a hollow as fear'
whether we go up the ladder or down it
our position is shaky better to always
have both feet planted on the ground
'Success is as empty as failure' we
observe the turmoil of all beings
yet contemplate their return...
hold on to the center...
be content and their is no need
of others approval... self acceptance
means the whole world accepts you
for complicated minds extreme
measures are needed
infinate and eternal never born
always constant unchanging
master nature not in the sense
of conquering it but becoming it
giving up all concepts and desires
the mind grows naturally compationate
find deep within ourselves the central
truths to the art of living paradoxical
only on the surface... the more truly
solitary we are the more compassionate
we can be... the more we let go of the
the things we love the more present our
love becomes... the clearer our insight
into what is beyond good and evil the
more we can embody the good until
finally we can say in all humility
'I am the tao the truth the life'
moral in the deepest sense unencumbered
by any concept of sin the Tao does not
see evil as a force to resist but simply
as an opaquness a state of self obsorption
that is in disharmony with the universal
process so that as with a dirty window the
light cann't shine through this freedom
from moral catagory allows us great compassion
for the wicked and the selfish thus the master
is available to all people and doesn't reject
anyone ready to use all situations and doesn't
waste anything this is called emboding the light
a work in progress please disreguard
any lapse in logical content
drawn from the Stephen Mitchell
translation of the Tao Te Ching on tape

[tolteclogic]

i should clarify that the Tao says
many things yet it is up to us
individually to decipher its meaning
when a wise man hears of the Tao
he embraces it completely
when an average man or woman
hears of the tao they half believe it
half doubt it
when a foolish man hears of the Tao
he laughs out load - if he didn't laugh
it wouldn't be the Tao

a tinge of a murmur
love whispers
trace of a hint
ghost like in shadow
shades of suggestion
a semblance of intimation
tell me truly and to the
ends of the earth
i would follow

the soft overcomes the hard
the slow overcomes the fast
let your workings remain
a mystery - just show people
the results... if you wish
to take something you must
first allow it to be given
if you wish to shrink
something you must
first allow it to expand
if you wish to get rid of
something you must first
allow it to flourish
this is called
the subtle perception
of the way things are
the master teaches
without a teaching
the Tao never does
anything yet through
it all things are done
know when to hasten
and when to relax
be aware of what
bodes well and
what bodes ill
knowing when
to stop
at sufficentcy
is not something
of which the ignorant
are capable...
the ordinary man
is always doing things
yet many more are
left to be done...
the master does nothing
yet leaves nothing undone
the ordinary man keeps
reaching for power
thus he never has enough
the kind man does something
yet something remains to be done
the just man does something
and leaves many things to be done
the moral man does something
and when no one responds
he rolls up his sleeves
and uses force
when the Tao is lost
there is goodness
when goodness is lost
there is morality
when morality is lost
there is ritual
ritual is the husk
of true faith
the beginning of chaos
if powerful people
could remain centered
in the Tao
the whole world
would be transformed
in its natural rhythms
when there is no desire
all things are at peace

[wistfuldragon]

tis wonderful how you write...just had to say it again...

[tolteclogic]

thanks once again, restating the Tao
can be a risky business... it is good
to know my re-interputations
continue to please
in spirit
tl


"The practice of virtue is the study of body and mind,
nature and life. It is a very refined and subtle
science, in which the slightest deviation can produce
an enourmous loss. It can be accomplished only by
constancy and consistency, thoroughly investigating
its principles, fulfilling nature and arriving at the
meaning of life."

"When the primal energy appears, this is what is called
the 'living midnight' in our bodies. At this time we are
merged in the qualities of heaven and earth, joined with
the light of sun and moon, harmonized with the order of
the four seasons. This is the gate of yin and yang, the
door of life and death, the wellspring of essence and life,
the root of strength and submission, the crucible for
creating life, the alchemical furnace."

i ching

like thunder
rumbling
in the clouds
like sweet rain
falling of itself
after a long darkness
the light is brilliant
return to the fundamantal
exalted illumination

[tolteclogic]

it is the little things in life
that give us the most pleasure
that put a smile upon our face
simple creature comforts
to often taken for granted
quality of life?
what does it mean?
for me it is the new
washing machine
never had i imagined
that cloths could be
so clean until that
old Gibson was broken
seven years of soapy
water and now this
new Kenmore and
once more i can
breath easy
because i never
knew what i was missing
and yet there was that
long dry spell of
doing without but
for the bearest essentials
and now that old familiar
foe shows itself again
and i realize it is
a fight to the finish
interesting how one
injustice calls upon
another for self justification
but isn't that what makes
life interesting standing up
for the little guy
with no voice
of his own
even if that little guy
is looking back at you
through the mirror
sometimes
most times
we are
own best defense
poetry now turns
full circle
time to do the impossible

[wistfuldragon]

You are a wonder...writing bout your washer is glorious...I love it...

[tolteclogic]

Thanks WD, Yes life itself
may hang in the balance
but it is the simple things
that remain the
most sweet...
in spirit


Mississippi Queen

Of dreams lost long ago
or those not yet to be
there was a time
through a window
in your mind when
all things new
were possible...

We all have dreams
and some dreams
are in precognition
yet it doesn't seem
to make things
any easier... as we
cling to the past
what dreams may come
some how get cast
into the dust
of on going dispair
maybe some time
tomorrow but
tomorrow never comes
when there is
only now
in balance
and harmony
should we see
the workings of
the mind compelled
propelled into
perpetuity and the
safty in numbers
of others where
we fit easily
into the image
of some forgone
conclusion
unquestioned
we follow...
from birth
until death
seeking where
never there is
enough and call
this fulfillment
rewrite the book
of life... where
the most simple
is sacrificed
upon the alter
of sensual
gratification
soul fires burn
deeply into night
never to be content
always reaching
never seeking
what is changeless
until all fuel
is spent
in bitter
discontent
like dust
in the wind
the folly
of misdirected
youth unplugged
from the matrix
consummed in
the void
formed from
the vacuum
of dead religion

[wistfuldragon]

the void
formed from
the vacuum
of dead religion...yes to that Sir...

Faith is needed
no matter the
belief...

I adore your choice of words and flow...wonderful

[tolteclogic]

Thank You most kindly Wistful D,

a little something about self protection:


unpredictability is our saving grace
to be reasonably predictable
is to fall into the sleep of habituated
unknowing prognostication
adumbrate forshadowed
always prefigured presage foretold
in advance of living....
this is most true where transience
to attachments is the key
survival among those whose
only ambition is to remain distracted
from the truth of their own being
by whatever means deemed necessary

[anirbas]

"this is most true where transience
to attachments is the key
to survival among those whose
only ambition is to remain distracted
from the truth of their own being
by whatever means deemed necessary"

~fragmentationing of Clevelandic versificationing...

Adore this piece, especially the above lines...Sounded like you were describing a character from my past life...It's true, T..."There are none so blind as those who will not see", to coin a colliquism...Thanks for sharing and nice to see you hanging out and banging at the keys with the rest of the poetical crew!!!! Take care, ya hear? Evernir.

[tolteclogic]

OK so what i'm really feeling in the moment
if i'm being honest as just now scribed
in my journal...

this is not the test that could be won...
to easily gone... Gangster thugs
trigger happy kids with guns...
calling my house asking me to
allow collect calls on my phone
his link to the out side world and
why just because his cousin had
seen fit to run up the long distance
on my phone??? what bases for
friendship is that but to commiserate
the reality of having a crack head
for a neighbor - by the time i had
figured this out that fox was in
the proverbial hen house

who are we now? he is a growd man
with one 'nearly' dead under his belt and
here this whole world has come crashing in
on my life - there is no way this could turn out
well ~ No... I know these influences are not
indicative of who i am but in this small town
my phone - the same phone that had been
taken over by the neighborhood backstreet woman
next door and all her rift raft thugs with bullets and guns -
my phone has the subject of a criminal investigation
seems someone was shot and the prime suspect
had been using my phone detectives came by
once wanting to speak with me but i wasn't home
and when the land lady told'em i must be gone
they seemed to imply that i might be hidding inside -
Ask me, from what, (had i even been there) would
i have to hide? fork'em and the horse they rode in on
it didn't take long for them to discover (due
to the close proximity of the two houses)
that my phone would reach next door
so i never knew who was using it or what
it was being used for - my life is simple and
i seldom used long distance but very often
the few calls i did get were missed
because my phone was missing...

so now you can put two and two together
subsequently taking completely unrelated calls
from jail and now from prison for two love
birds separated by walls with barbed wire
and the fact that she is married... with kids
it all adds up to no good and here i am minding
my own business living for all intents and purposes
the life of a necessary recluse - i will be pleased to be
leaving Hillsborough when that final bell of destiny calls
times up this test is over- time to move on find home...
hadn't i payed my dues by now? but please no -
not at the end of an accidental shooting
wrong person wrong time who just might
happen to drive by pointing a loaded gun
for no particular reason...
before the next chapter unfolds

don't get me wrong once the eviction
was final i thought my troubles were over
i never thought in a million years i would be
taking calls from prison...

this was always a quiet peaceful neigborhood
and now it is as if my existence is marked
woke up the other morning had fallen asleep with
the tv on woke up and my brand new tump'in
sony boombox was gone... nearly two weeks
pass before i realize my handy cordless drill
was also gone... better locks are required

[anirbas]

sounds like you need a doberman or a rottweiler as your roomate...

[tolteclogic]

thanks Sabrina,

the first piece did cast a better light
but then the darkness descends
reading back over the above
i do not mean to give the wrong
impression there is not all this traffic
now wanting to use my phone and
although i have put a foot down
restricting those who would pretend
to be a friend from coming by ( that is
when the things went missing), out
side of the girl from next door and
her cousin now in prison both of
whom i have openly expressed
the need for them to respect my
space and keep away - things
are nearly back to normal... some
how they have managed to keep
this drama going... all i know is
that this guy was accused of
shooting someone and now is
locked up for a second time - the
first was for armed robbery all
charges were dropped some
suggest through intimidation
next thing you know after i
have specifically asked
him to quit showing up
(if only occassionally) uninvited
i hear he is on the lamb from the
law on an attempted murder
charge... someone got shot
but all charges were dropped
and now he is in for probation
violations... but you see what
happens when you piss a
crack head off... i mean his
cousin not him - she is
the crack head neighbor
from hell who recently
got locked up herself
and when i didn't take
her collect call from jail
the very night she was
released my stuff
went missing
purely by coincidence
to be certain....
my room mate said he
saw her the next day
riding around with a
noted B & E pro
among others
less notable...
how would he Know?
so i suppose
kindness has its limits
and much better locks
are due... and yes
i am aware that
so much of this could have
been averted i suppose
just by refussing to
take those calls....
just say No!
it seems nice guys
finish last... yet for
three months as
long as i played
along i could
leave the house
open with no
threat of being harmed
nothing was ever stolen
i suppose the abuse
of my long distance
was a small price
to pay for security
and for keeping an
eye on the cat
while i was away

[Sam]

Hey!! Perhaps it is time to relocate!! (?)
I hate to feel unsafe in my ow home....
I hate to worry about my home when I am gone...

I worry about you!!

I am in the same situation...(sort of)
Here goes:
I live in a small complex of six apartments.
(two basement, two main floor, two upstairs)
I live upstairs.
The neighbor across from me is into something.....something....
The neighbor in the basement is a professional thief.
They have hooked up now
and I catch myself walking on egg shells.
They have done nothing to me,
but I do not want them to get angry with me
because I see what they are capable of.
One beats his wife all of the time,
she works, he doesn't.
He hurt her, I went with her to the emergency room,
they kissed and made up....I'm the enemy.
The neighbor across the hall
fights with his woman all of the time now.
(she doesn't like him hanging out with the other)
I try to be invisible....
I try not to get involved any more.
But it frightens me sometimes.
I keep hoping they will move, but
who knows??
Don't ask me why I'm telling you this, either) ha

Sam

[tolteclogic]

Thank You Sam
much appreciated
to know that
my situation
isn't so unique
you know what
they say, keep
your friends close
keep your (potential)
enemies closer...
tl

[Sam]

True, very true.

I have the money issue, also!!! I just got my "yearly" raise....A dime and the good news, "I have a job." How about that? I just keep smiling! What can you do?

It is just too bad we were both born so good looking instead of rich, huh?

Have a good day!

Sam

[wistfuldragon]

Cleveland and Sam...for you both my friends I send my love and prayers on the wind to reach you...as I also send my wishes for a much better life in all for all...
Love to ya both...
mixed with word hugs and smiles from the west coast...

[tolteclogic]

it is a beautiful friday morning
the world outside my door
is a celebration of life
more brids i've seen this
year than at any other
time in my memory...
flocks of blue jays
and cardinals
seven, eight maybe ten
or more at a time
in the same space or time
there are more molking birds
this year than ever before
interesting to watch them
fight for territorial rights
areal acrobatics rolling
turning and diving
swooping around
the camus in tight
formation until the
chase is ended
and i think what
if this is nature's way
of being so full of life
before the epidemic

a surface reality
we must
watch every step
in unknowing
unsympathetic
or percisely apathetic
environments the
haves or the haves not
what is the frequency
the vibration of our destiny
who gives us our identity
when the whole world
in entertainment weekly
would be our oyster....
in the pursuit of fame
or fortune - superficial
appearance of make
believe fantasy
the daily news
here today
gone tomorrow
except for the
rumble in the distance
a war to end all wars
superficial puppets
culprits in political office
unfettered greed
unleashed in the
middle east...
smash and run
tactics all for a
considerable profit
big time politicians
with deep pockets
while we pay the
ultimate price
not only with our
taxes but in the
exchange of
human life

[tolteclogic]

i don't feel like it
but it is at least
a 25 mile ride
there and back
to Duke University
department of
prosthetics and orthotics
i don't have the same
stamina i use to hold
on a bicycle so long ago
even now i feel the
fatigue of working all
this week 2 maybe 3 days
and time it takes to recover
and the constant drama
with the new room mate
every day is a party
liquid courage is the key
and his rent is always late
and now the end is in sight
as i assert my independence
over one more broken promise
he said i could use his car
we work the same job
and always there is
something going on
for all the lies being told
and i get caught in the middle
i can see the writing on the wall
a free floater who has never
apparently had to pay rent
and all bets are he will
vanish without a trace
stick me with the rent
except there is his old
mercedes broken
down in my yard
some folks can't
seem to live
without drama
or leave well
enough alone
what goes around
comes around
no one must know
his business
and yet here i am
caught in the middle
and when things
go bad where
one lie won't
match another
on the job
or among
all his women
running me down
one day - best
friends the next
i'm to old
for this shit
always making
threats to sabotage
any budding friendship
the ones he
couldn't catch...
because of some
basic insecurity
around the women
he cann't keep
who catch him
in his lies
and i am
caught
in the middle
of drama central