In a haze of my own ways

[brandnewmessiah]

I thought when I was born
I’d come into a world
Where nothing that I’d see
Would bring pain upon me
I guess that I was wrong
And I don’t feel like I belong
I want to be the first
To go back and erase my birth

Now I am thinking
That the reason I’m drinking
Is to pretend that I’m feeling
That my life is worth healing

And I want to fade away
Into this bottle that a pray
Give me a sense of strength
To die another day

Hatred
Is dilated
In my eyes
I despise
What I see
The real me
Is now numb
To everyone

And I want drown inside
The feeling of being alive
It’s stronger to die well
Than to live in constant hell

Succumbed
To the 151
I’m pouring
In the mourning
Of my existence
I’m persistent
To slowly
Kill what I thought I’d be

[anirbas]

Grittily, beautifully honest poem, Troy.