"Mississippi Sunshine"

[Sam]

I hear the train far off in the distance, yet I know if we want to get to town today, we better go.

The pulpwood yard is only a half a mile from our house and it always seems to take the train "forever" and a day to drop and load and get on its way out of our way...By then, my mom will say it is too late today and I will be stuck at home, alone, again

I don't remember exactly when the "craving for company" era began for me. I have always been such a tomboy or "wild animal" as my cousin described me...(just because I made Darlene's nose bleed-again).

Well! she deserved it.

She called my dad an alcoholic and I flipped her out of the porch swing....needless to say...my visit with them was cut short...and here I sit today.

(More to come)

[roadrunner3]

Ahhh...porch swings and pulpwood yards, now
that is the South! Thank you for this ray of sunshine ,
you "wild thing" you.
RR

[Sam]

My head is still buzzing from the talk my mom had with me last night after Darlene and family had left.

She wasn't unhappy with me at all for defending my father. (Though she didn't exactly condone my method of defense.)

I had been so afraid after they dropped me off and left a streak of dust down our driveway. I ran to my room and suddenly felt very small (not like a wild animal at all). My mom came in, pulled up a chair beside my bed, and told me a story about my dad first, then about Darlene's dad.

Seems like my dad had a drinking problem way before I was born, but he had quit and did not drink at all (well....not that I ever knew or Darlene would ever have known). If her family had not been gossiping and talking about our family in a negative way, I probably would never have even known about it. That had really angered my mom and she had a gleam in her eyes I did not see often, but knew very well.

She then started another story about Darlene's dad and the day he and his girlfriend had driven boldly into his driveway and he jumped out and went into the house to pack his clothes to leave his wife and kids. Darlene and Timmy (her brother) had been screaming and hanging on their mother's leg as she cried and begged him to stay.

I was shocked and stunned to think this "perfect" family had endured and somehow survived this ordeal. My young mind was spinning, trying to take this all in and figure out her point. (she always had a point in her stories)
She then explained to me that he had returned after a few months, begged for forgiveness, and they had gone ahead with their life as though it had never happened.

Mom said she would never have told me about all of this at all if they had been willing to forgive my dad and let everything rest.

She wanted me to know that all things are not as they appear on the outer surface...sometimes you have to look inside.....

Their world was no better than mine. We lived in the country, they lived in the suburbs. They went on fancy vacations in the summer, always talking about it in front of me and making me feel inferior, as though we were too poor to go on a vacation.

We didn't have that kind of lifestyle because we had a dairy farm and cows do not take a vacation. Also, the summers were busy for us with all of the gardening which was important for my clothes and shoes for school.

We did other things for fun throughout the year... hunting trips, day fishing trips....I went to the park a lot, and I always stayed a month with my sister and babysat for her to earn my new winter coat. I was always tanned by the end of summer and ready for school! I was always healthy. I was loved.

Their life was different, but no better. Everyone has skeletons in their closet.

I never spoke of that conversation to anyone. I never threw it at Darlene, even when we fought again. (which we did throughout the years) It was all too personal. But, somehow I felt better, strong again, and definitely not ashamed of being a "wild animal".

There has never been a better man (or father) than mine. He and my mother always loved each other and their children.

I don't know why my mind wandered here this morning. I haven't thought about this in years...Perhaps it was something a friend said.....

Sam

[anirbas]

Very well written reminiscing, Sammy!!!!!! Thank you for sharing this with us...Got more? Nir.

[Sam]

Why, of course, you know I do. I am full of tall tales........

Love,

Sammy

[anirbas]

Then bring these tales into the light
where their tallness may throw a long shadow...

Love, Sabrina.