my poem if you'll have it.

[wingedspirithorse]

Hi,I know this is not an up beat poem and it's not my usual style but I hope you like it and can help me with some input on it I'll put more of my stuff here later ok so here it is. I've been having a hard time with this one there's just something missing not sure what been trying for month's on it so any input would be a big help Thanks

Tears of Blood(?)

Tears of blood Stain these Cheeks
This pain cuts
This pain bleeds
My soul is scared so deep
My soul is scared to deep

This pain will cause me
To stand or die
To rise or fall

Can I rise above this pain
Face my Fears
Save my Tears

Will I Stand or Die
Will I Rise or Fall

I cry these tears
I know all to well why
These tears of blood
that stain these cheeks


Here are a few lines I'm playing with to add there not set in stone just came to me as I was writing and haven't found there place yet whether here or in another poem

Tears of blood
Stain this world
Tears of Hate and Love
Tears of pain and anger

Our tears of blood
Stain this world
It cries for us
We cry for it

My Tears of blood are my ultimate sacrifice

OK so let me know what you think and keep in mind its a work in progress. Thanks WSH(Sarah)
P.S. If I suddenly disappear its not me my computer just shut down on me again and I will be back ASAP if it dose.

[anirbas]

Didn't I read this somewhere else in here, Sarah? Nothing wrong that you posted it here...
Just trying to be sure I've not lost my mind, as I also thought, I'd posted a comment,
of course a near long winded one, afterwards...LOL...

As I think I said somewhere else...LOL..That is if I'm not totally crazy,
from lack of sleep...t-he...Great poeming...I wouldn't change a thing.
On either of them...Always Nir [Sabrina]