Post by aims on Sept 4, 2018 17:01:16 GMT -6
You tell people you are slow
that your natural pace of doing things is slow
that you wish you were faster
that even if you consciously try to speed up
and could sustain that moment to moment
you would still fall short of the performance of others,
volume-wise, in given period of time.
They tell you it is alright to be slow,
but they only mean it in theory,
that is they only mean it as long as it does not have the slightest impact on them.
So they don't really mean it!!!!!
So here you are a humble person who admits that they are slower than the average person
and that therefore your volume of work is not going to measure up to theirs,
but you work consistently,
you don't fuck off, you do try to help others when the opportunity presents itself,
and you try to be a team player,
you have taken on some extra responsibilities that they haven't
they understand even less,
or maybe they feel put upon,
they only care how "unfair" it is to them that you, for example,
are available even less to watch the floor because now you are scrambling to keep
up even harder and do extra stuff they aren't doing,
your playing on 2 teams now and you want to help out where you can on the other one too,
but they don't want to help you are incensed that you are less available help to them, they don't care why,
unless it is to feel you shouldn't be doing this other work at all if it takes anything at all from them.
So now you are away from the common area longer doing the same things they do,
because it takes you longer to do them,
plus you are away from the common area doing this other work,
you get the feeling they almost resent you are doing,
it seems like they want to punish you,
and view your inconviennience to them as though it was something you would do on purpose,
Like this other person who isn't working every second
and tries to blame their own shortfall by twisting it to point a finger at them , this other person who doesn't hesitate to throw people under the bus,
but you are nothing like that other person,
you are busting your ass trying to keep up,
hopelessly,
never screwing off,
never saying a disparaging word about any of them,
never betraying a single confidence,
and only asking for help when what you have to do is a two person task,
but sometimes they act like you sholdn't be asking,
meanwhile they help each other no questions asked and never play that
attitude between themselves. you even stay late sometimes if you haven't finished everything,
just because you are not trying to put off your responsibility on others.
they dont even bother to think or get that.
You might as well be fucking off, not trying to carry your load.
So what it all boils down to is people say,
when you tell them you are slow, that it's ok it doesn't matter,
But it does,
and they dont grant you any credit that you are constantly working and trying your very best to keep up,
hopeless as that might be.
It hurts because you know if someone was slower than you and humble about it and you could see that they were not fucking off and were giving it their best,
you would have their back,
you wold not resent that person,
you try to be a team player
and as long as others are doing their best,
you wouldn't resent that they weren't able to get as many tasks (bathing peop;e, feeding people, watching the floor) you wouldn't be pissed if that person's not able to complete as many of those things in the samne amount of time as you,
nor that their other work that you don't do
makes them fall evewn a little shorter,
you know you'd be the kind of person that would want to help that person,
if anything,
because you you know what it's like to be that person.
You know that everyones not exactly the same some are faster than others but what counts is
if everyone is doing the best they can!!
And you most certainly are, doing the very best you can,
but they don't really care,
they ae]re too busy keeping score of what you are getting done against what they are getting done,
and it's just possible that sometimes they are even setting you up to fail even worse
like I said wanting to punish you for not being able to keep up with them.
that your natural pace of doing things is slow
that you wish you were faster
that even if you consciously try to speed up
and could sustain that moment to moment
you would still fall short of the performance of others,
volume-wise, in given period of time.
They tell you it is alright to be slow,
but they only mean it in theory,
that is they only mean it as long as it does not have the slightest impact on them.
So they don't really mean it!!!!!
So here you are a humble person who admits that they are slower than the average person
and that therefore your volume of work is not going to measure up to theirs,
but you work consistently,
you don't fuck off, you do try to help others when the opportunity presents itself,
and you try to be a team player,
you have taken on some extra responsibilities that they haven't
they understand even less,
or maybe they feel put upon,
they only care how "unfair" it is to them that you, for example,
are available even less to watch the floor because now you are scrambling to keep
up even harder and do extra stuff they aren't doing,
your playing on 2 teams now and you want to help out where you can on the other one too,
but they don't want to help you are incensed that you are less available help to them, they don't care why,
unless it is to feel you shouldn't be doing this other work at all if it takes anything at all from them.
So now you are away from the common area longer doing the same things they do,
because it takes you longer to do them,
plus you are away from the common area doing this other work,
you get the feeling they almost resent you are doing,
it seems like they want to punish you,
and view your inconviennience to them as though it was something you would do on purpose,
Like this other person who isn't working every second
and tries to blame their own shortfall by twisting it to point a finger at them , this other person who doesn't hesitate to throw people under the bus,
but you are nothing like that other person,
you are busting your ass trying to keep up,
hopelessly,
never screwing off,
never saying a disparaging word about any of them,
never betraying a single confidence,
and only asking for help when what you have to do is a two person task,
but sometimes they act like you sholdn't be asking,
meanwhile they help each other no questions asked and never play that
attitude between themselves. you even stay late sometimes if you haven't finished everything,
just because you are not trying to put off your responsibility on others.
they dont even bother to think or get that.
You might as well be fucking off, not trying to carry your load.
So what it all boils down to is people say,
when you tell them you are slow, that it's ok it doesn't matter,
But it does,
and they dont grant you any credit that you are constantly working and trying your very best to keep up,
hopeless as that might be.
It hurts because you know if someone was slower than you and humble about it and you could see that they were not fucking off and were giving it their best,
you would have their back,
you wold not resent that person,
you try to be a team player
and as long as others are doing their best,
you wouldn't resent that they weren't able to get as many tasks (bathing peop;e, feeding people, watching the floor) you wouldn't be pissed if that person's not able to complete as many of those things in the samne amount of time as you,
nor that their other work that you don't do
makes them fall evewn a little shorter,
you know you'd be the kind of person that would want to help that person,
if anything,
because you you know what it's like to be that person.
You know that everyones not exactly the same some are faster than others but what counts is
if everyone is doing the best they can!!
And you most certainly are, doing the very best you can,
but they don't really care,
they ae]re too busy keeping score of what you are getting done against what they are getting done,
and it's just possible that sometimes they are even setting you up to fail even worse
like I said wanting to punish you for not being able to keep up with them.
