One of Them

[anirbas]

There are days
I want to forget I am human
and that others are human
I want to forget I am broken

I want to hurt those who hurt
the ones I love I want to break
bones and rip faces off of people
I want to tear the life force from beings

I want to rip out throats with my bare teeth
I imagine it I can taste blood on my tongue
I luxurate in these images knowing
I cannot be the monster I want to be

There are days I want to forget I am human
Today is one of them today is one of them

[artolmaeus]

there are too many days I want to forget
the forces like a supernova unleashed
from within a child killed twice
by a loving guilt ridden mother
all the breaking into infinite parts
and as they found an affinity
and recombined, a compressed small core
held together than plasma or fusion
again disintegrated into the continuum
unbearable madness like an expanding tar
drawing in rather than repelling
in spite of it all
and there it is, if
but only one full molecule
of the miracle that true love is
when it is not a word of contextual meaning
all the collective efforts for only my sake
my existence, came from all of it
and it sat there patiently
growing rings of electrons
like the enucleation of the essence
of essence itself
and it did not fight or contain the rage
somehow it allowed it to be...
useful, a weldable element
separate from me,
I completed Maslow's formulae
corrected each and every step
not by an act of will
or intention, and came the remorse
of understanding the yard outside
the moveable house and the fracture
of illusion in a land beyond
madness and meaningless
like being one of the fallen Abbadonai
from the bottomless chasm
that is the shen between the construct
of yin and yang, as it is not a zero point
it is union, pure union
like only one molecule of true love
is needed, as it is strong
the experience is brief, and it should be
though the constraints of form
and the confines of human limitations
lay open the apparent power of being
beyond
this is felt by all, it is so uncertain
whimsy, fantasy and it has an immense cost
far more than ego death, where no law
has to exist, because the order is placed
ahead and it runs faster than we can ever go
but in one step, each electron in this
little molecule, shares into a literal
concentration coefficient as to show
the place of a dot in field of numbers
that seemingly cannot exist
like Rabbelais saw, before Crowley stole his blueprint
of Gargantua and Patangruel
Krishna and Arjun
Daniel, Meschach, Shadrach and Abendigo
the Phoenix after the fire
the God who proclaims he is an all consuming fire
of Daedalus and his son Icarus
when the wax melts and frees you from
self gilded wings
and you fall
that moment, in the bounce
the you that is you arrives
not at any conclusion
but the point where you can start
so, ego does not get out of the picture
it finds an external silence
and an inner quiet
all the while, you must bear
the you that is a riot
for we are all so many parts
and cannot identify with any single one
until the agreement of all unifies
and like the gold welded broken cup
the Shinto guys put forth
first what is has to be broken
for there to be life more pure
a hymen must break and bleed for a doorway into this world
which will break and consume mothers
and every expectation meets its
futile unfulfillment
that surrender isn't easy
when all things seem unfair
as the balance is far from any reason
and whether or not you care
I no longer look for a village to belong to
and idiot is no longer a label
though near than bin and quite akin
finds the truth I need
better than Schultz that I know nothing
and everything I see
though familiar it may seem
is all at once a new
and all miracles to me
one molecule of love, does not darkness get dispelled
it never needs be rid of
one molecule of love
is the miracle itself

[anirbas]

"one molecule of love
is the miracle itself"

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I really like these two lines. I like the way they look in print. And how they sounded when read aloud. A poem unto themselves, these two lines. Thanks for sharing, mi compadre.