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Post by anirbas on May 30, 2007 19:22:21 GMT -6
Mish, Sam, Dawn--The exodus is ...First stage of the reclamation is complete. Logged in earlier to let D., know all was well while I was still unpacking...Silly stressed out gal, left without logging out...Plus, I'm sort of awkward on this different computer...I am no longer a concubine, girls!!!!! I'm a mistress...The mistress of my own destiny...With a little bit of help of course...Really tired right now...Too tired to do emails, so am letting you guys know, Ivy and I made it, we are here...We are tired and I'm soon to bed...I wasn't dreaming...I wasn't dreaming!!!!!!!!!!!! yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Ivy and I are free, free, free, free, free, free, free!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sabrina
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Post by DavidMc on May 31, 2007 3:15:39 GMT -6
;D
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Post by anirbas on May 31, 2007 8:32:05 GMT -6
freed from the contraints
of place and space...
i am a shoe lace,
unknotted, untied...
untried is this new life...
strife seems far behind...
nothing left of my old life,
but the bruises on my arm
that will soon fade, fade, fade
to nothingness while i wade
the edges of a pond
of peaceful bliss...
knowing i am free...
free, to finally be me...
whoever that is...
gigglegiggle!
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Post by anirbas on Jun 23, 2007 13:49:35 GMT -6
How do I not be alone...
Is not the question for me...
No, for me, the question is-
How do I get back to the point
of being alone, in blissful peace?
I revel in my ungoverned solitude...
Though some might think me rude
to do so...They do not hear
the sound of governance
in the shell of their ear...
Everyday fighting, defending
one's right to be oneself...
to breathe...to create, unexpurgatedly...
To be, whom I see fit to be...
Not the object, someone else,
envisions me becoming...
Yes, I wonder how to get back
to being blissfully at peace...
Allowed to just blessed be...
Blessed be me...Is a me...
...such a bad person, to be?
I don't think so...
But, being a firm believer,
in all possibility...
I guess it is possible,
to be wrong to be a me...
-Sabrina.
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Post by anirbas on Oct 3, 2007 8:16:09 GMT -6
no need
to stare
into a ball
of crystal
to seek
a reader
of tarot
to have
the bones
thrown
to examine
exposed
animal guts
for signs
nor to listen
to a self-professed
prophesizer
or any other
tool used
for devination
I already
know what
the future
holds--
the
unknown...
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Post by anirbas on Oct 11, 2007 13:20:50 GMT -6
My daughter's father and I have been separated since approximately June 2007. Next Wednesday, October 17th I must go to court concerning whom shall be chosen as her primary custodial parent...I do not have nor can I afford an attorney. I would ask that those of you whom pray or believe in the power of prayer, pray for Ivy and me...Thanks...Sincerly, Sabrina
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Post by roadrunner3 on Oct 13, 2007 6:10:09 GMT -6
There once was a woman Sabrina Who one day was served a subpoena Her appearance in court Was cut very short When the judge said, "Their prayer's have redeemed ya." (A Texas judge would probably say "ya" instead of "you".)  You and Ivy are in my prayers! |
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Post by anirbas on Oct 16, 2007 15:12:43 GMT -6
How very cute, Runner! Had a major gigglefest reading your limerick.
In Texas, a judge might say, ya'll... or y'all...Everyone spells that differently...
Thanks for adding my precious and me to your prayers. Tomorrow is the day
and I've not much time to be here, at the moment, but, I will be catching up
with all of ya'll, as soon as possible! Sabrina
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Post by Sam on Oct 16, 2007 15:36:22 GMT -6
Everything will be fine!!
Much love!!!
I have found if I stay positive and push the negative out of my life cycle, things are always so much better.!!
If there is a will, there is a way!!
Remember that, and take it as it comes, one day at a time......
Enjoy your daughter, your time together, your new place, and above all, do not forget to breathe!!!! Things will come as they will!!!
Be yourself, and relax now!!!
You work 8 hours a day. Then you go to your life!!!!! Right? Your job simply enables you to enjoy your life!!
You are just busy right now making your new nest, but soon you will have every straw in place!!!
Love you,
Sam
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Post by anirbas on Oct 30, 2007 7:44:45 GMT -6
What an uplifting message I missed, Sammy! The good thing, that odious piece of legality
is over and done and Ivy's father, managed to come out paying very little for her child support--but, he was unable to take primary custody of her or make me have to move from the county, she and I moved, too...Now, I just have to deal with him the first and third weekend of each month and every other holiday and in the summertime, when she must stay with him, at least thirty days out of her school vacation time...Hard, hard as hell watching her walk out the door with him, the first weekend...Going to be harder when he is allowed to have her, for several days at Xms this year...Just trying to hang in there and swallow it all down without vomiting...But, yeah, am into making this new nest and don't care if every straw is in place, or not...LOL...Thanks for your mental, emotional and spiritual support through it all...For always being there when needed...Means alot to me...Love, Sabrina
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Post by Sam on Oct 31, 2007 8:59:39 GMT -6
Same right back to you!
What are friends for if not to be there when needed!!
Love,
Sam
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Post by anirbas on Oct 31, 2007 15:30:26 GMT -6
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Sharon)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Post by Sam on Nov 12, 2007 9:05:03 GMT -6
Look! I have been thinking........(watch out) He is her father and she does seem to want to see him, so take a well deserved break and let her go with your good/positive wishes. This also gives her a chance to see her friends, catch up on the gossip at her old school, brag a little about her new life, etc. She is growing her little wings, Mom. I know he loves her, too. He will spoil her so she wants to come back again, right? So, plan a night out with the girls and relax!!! Love, Sam |
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Post by anirbas on Nov 13, 2007 6:49:41 GMT -6
Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Good advice IF she and I were dealing
with a caring, thinking, adult human being...He is a person whom
has a plethora of mental and emotional issues...When in any given one of his
paranoidic rages doesn't mind telling his children they are worthless,
stupid, useless morons "just like their mother"; has thrown hammers
at one child; is prone to road rage incidences, where he uses the vehicle
he is driving as a weapon to teach other drivers a "lesson"...And I am only
touching on the tip of an iceberg, so to speak, with these examples of his character...
My worries about this situation are not the unfounded worries of an overprotective mother...
His treatment of my son has a lot to do with where my son is now...And my counselor whole heartedly agrees with that opinion...
I don't have a problem with her growing her wings...LOL...She's been doing that for
oh, at least two years, now...Last time she went to his house, he spent the entire
weekend telling her, he wasn't her father, anymore...Just her babysitter...And had her so upset, when she came home that's all she railed about...
A night out with the girls? I drag home so tired from work, even if I had the money for such things, I wouldn't have the energy to pursue a night out with the girls...I'd far rather drag home, take a bubble bath, read a few chapters of a good book, and just fall into bed...
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Post by Sam on Nov 13, 2007 8:23:25 GMT -6
A night out with the girls can mean a lot of things. ha Doing your nails, watching a movie, pop corn, etc.... (If it is your sister...there is nothing better than exchanging foot rubs) ahhh) She is his flesh and blood and I would hope he treats her better than he did your son. (?) If she doesn't want to go back to see him, that is a different story. I thought she was wanting to see him now.....(?) "Last time she went to his house, he spent the entire weekend telling her, he wasn't her father, anymore...Just her babysitter...And had her so upset, when she came home that's all she railed about..." He is cutting off his own nose to spite his face! I know it is tough. Perhaps in time he will see she isn't enjoying his performances. *Let's hope he finds a new woman!!! That will end it all. (promise) Sam |
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Post by anirbas on Nov 13, 2007 21:38:40 GMT -6
hehehello, again...just yakked you up in another post...one must have nails to have one's nails done...LOL...not really into the nail thing...my sisters don't exchange foot rubs...but, totally agree, giving and receiving a foot rub is one of the best things in life...
as for the situation with Ivy and her father...she wants to see him one minute and never wants to see him the next...her being his own flesh makes no difference to him as to shutting his mouth on things he shouldn't say to her...the man doesn't have any boundaries with adults or children...
you are so right, he is cutting off his own nose to spite his face...that is how he rolls...ggglgggl...and never even realizes he is running around with a noseless face...
the entire situation, is fluidic, at best...if she tells me she doesn't want to see him anymore, I will see him in hell, before she has to go over there, again...
as for him finding him a new woman...sounds like he has...makes no difference, he is still furious I "got away" and still seeks to control my life and her's in any way he can...
tired of blabbing about the mess and can only hope this to shall pass...hope for the best and expect the worst and put her into the capable hands of the universe of the angels when she walks out the door with him...for the moment...
as it ain't over til it's over and the fat lady sings...and she hasn't sang one note, yet...
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Post by Sam on Nov 14, 2007 10:47:06 GMT -6
Let's see: "La, la, la, la."  All I can say is what I lived through, and that was to let mine go visit, never talk badly about him in front of them. Accept what he gives to her with thanks. Be quick around him. Avoid opportunities for confrontations. Wish him well, (it only makes him confused) ha...... Sam |
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Post by anirbas on Nov 14, 2007 19:32:10 GMT -6
ggglgggl...sorry, darlin'...you ain't the fat lady...but, you do la,la,la,la rather well...
I am trying to accept this is the way things are for now...but, I'm such a mommy person,
so much of my persona is wrapped up in being a mommy person and when she's gone,
it hurts...and I worry about her safety as he is like a loaded gun left lying in a street...
never know when he's going to go off...
he doesn't give her anything...but, would accept such, if he did, with thanks...
always work to avoid confrontations with him...but, just smiling at him, makes him paranoid...
he accuses me of having a shit eating grin and something up my sleeve...
do wish him well, inspite of his ornery, hateful self...wish for her sake,
he'd go to a doctor and be healed...wish at my darkest core,
he'd just fuck off and die...but, stop short of praying for these things
and making voodoo dolls in his image and stabbing them with pins...ggglggglgggl...
thank you for trying to ease my worries...I know you are trying to make this easier for me...
so many changes I am trying to adjust to...I've moved a million stones, in the past six months, afterall...ggglgggl...
love you for babying me...take care of you for me...Sabrina.
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Post by anirbas on Nov 20, 2007 20:56:48 GMT -6
~More Than a Mess...
Life isn't a present--
a box of goodies
handed to us at birth
wrapped in elegantly
printed paper crowned
with a glamorous
silver foil bow...
Life is a privilege...
A responsibility...
And beyond that,
life is an entity
with a mind
of it's own
that laughes
in your face,
and says:
"I dare you
to make something
out of nothing...
I challenge you
to make something
more of me than a mess..."
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Post by roadrunner3 on Nov 20, 2007 21:48:39 GMT -6
Amen, sister!
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Post by Sam on Nov 21, 2007 14:07:52 GMT -6
I second that Amen!!! Amen! (or was that three?) hmmmmmmmm.... Sam |
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Post by anirbas on Nov 21, 2007 19:14:54 GMT -6
Giggle-giggling my butt off with the joy of finding you two, here!
Thanks, mes amies, for the read and the comments!
Happy Turkey Day, ya'll!!!!!!!!! Sabrina.
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Post by anirbas on Jan 10, 2008 18:54:00 GMT -6
Heavenly Father, Celestial Mother...
Creator of all that I am and all that surrounds me...
I come before you with this simple prayer
to give this woman's thanks, unto thee...
I thank you for keeping your son, my lover safe...
When he was hit by a car the other day...
From the bottom of this woman's heart...
That would shatter, break apart
if David was not in and of this world...
I thank you for keeping your angels about him
to cushion the blow and cushion his fall...
Knowing, I would die without him...
I thank you for saving him for him...
And saving him for me...Amen.
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Post by Sam on Jan 10, 2008 22:46:10 GMT -6
(?) I am speechless,
and humbled............
Thank You. Thank You.
A-Men.
Sam
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Post by anirbas on Jan 15, 2008 0:02:02 GMT -6
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Sammyantha)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Post by anirbas on Feb 2, 2008 18:24:49 GMT -6
Not much I know,
but, I do know
what I know...
As humans
we seek the light
of knowledge,
yet, are forever
engulfed in the darkness
of the fathomless unknown...
In that respect, we are never alone...
Each of us as lost as the human
standing beside us, behind
us, or in front of us...
Where we differ,
is whether surrounded
in a crowded room
or wrapped in the bosom
of your family or the arms
of the one you love,
we are still alone--
wayfarers traveling
individual paths
into the fathomless
darkness of the unknown...
~*~
Not much I know,
but, I do know
what I know...
In the caverns
of the soul
there are deep spaces
where one should never go...
Odiferous pockets abcessed
with the putrid pus of failure and loss,
no amount of living can ever overgloss...
Therefore, some things in life, it is best to forget;
better still to run from, crawl from if one must...
For to dwell upon that which cannot be changed
is to develop or redevelop mange of the mind...
Creating the onset of cankerous, cantankerous depression;
causing you to think you're better off dead and gone...
~*~
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Post by Sam on Feb 3, 2008 15:27:56 GMT -6
We hang on as long as it takes... We walk as far as our feet will carry us... We do the best we can to simply survive, then we put our trust in our Higher Power to take it from there... Remaining ever hopeful, ever vigilant, ever humble, and ever faithful. Sam (((Sabrina))) |
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Post by anirbas on Feb 3, 2008 16:46:38 GMT -6
I know that's right...
(((((Sharon)))))
Thank you for sharing a Sharonic offering in this thread! Seems so many I know,
near or far, sound or feel down, thinking about it all, I was inspired to get
philosophical, last evening...
~*~
Perhaps, it's a case of SAD...
Happenchance, it's a case of being mad...
Could be you don't feel overly glad
because of something your best friend said...
Or it might have been your mom or dad...
Maybe, your boyfriend is acting like a cad...
Might be your ladyfriend just said she'd rather be a lad...
Perhaps, you've caught a bug and you just feel bad...
Or you're longing for something you never had...
Happenchance, you were just kicked in one nad...
But, this to shall pass like the latest trend or fad...
As it's not written anywhere or ironclad...
That you always have to feel or act mad...
Living is a heck of a lot better than being dead...
And life is just to short to always be sad...
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Post by Sam on Feb 14, 2008 13:01:51 GMT -6
I can not always be sad!!
I will not allow life to treat me that way.
I grab hold of happiness every day...
I let go of memories every way
I possibly can, but sometimes,
I need them......to get me through,
don't you feel the same way, too?
Sometimes, when life gets to complicated
I lay back on the old couch and flash back
to a simpler place and time....
I sometimes cry, or maybe laugh out loud...
When I get up, I am refreshed, reborn...
Everything has it's own time and meaning.
The trick is balancing between the difference.
God bless!
Sam
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Post by anirbas on Feb 16, 2008 20:29:53 GMT -6
(((((((Sammy!))))))))
A treat to find you here!
Thank you for honoring
this thread with an offering
of your very own! Nir.
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