Sleep

[tolteclogic]

there is a cascade effect
who could understand
what the loss of sleep can
do to a person... no it's not
insomnia but do you ever
just get so tired you
cann't sleep? sometimes
the body for whatever
multitude of reasons
won't let you sleep...
until finally you hit the bed
tired and fatigued
and go out like a light
problem solved, that is
if only for a brief moment
in time then you are awakened
not once but three times
and now cann't sleep for 3 or 4
more hours and then only a
fitful restless sleep not
the deep release that
held so much promise that
was so thoughtlessly snatched
away from you - another long
day on the job and now
the invitation is gone
there is no more fall
into those depths of
sleepfu rest... again
you feel it all over your
body the same body that
keeps you awake all night
what a vicious circle
so the shit hits the fan
as anything that can go
wrong does in the kitchin
and someone dares to ask
as the breakfast is burning
"What's wrong" the same
person who kept you awake
two nights before such a
simple thing as sleep
they couldn't possibly
understand the connection
how one restless night
will affect another

...............the same person
who had kept you awake
who unknowingly provoked
this unfortunate cycle
waking you up searching
for the phone... and then
twice more after that and
you forget for what reason
and now there is no more
sleeping...
now someones feelings
get hurt and ironic as
it may seem it is all
your fault - go off like
that over burnt oatmeal
usually the first couple
of hours is the worst then
you snape out of it
and coast in this holding
pattern no one could possibly
understand it is the
physical exertion of
work and exercise that
tends to keep you healthy
and yet won't let you
rest at night with so many
achs and pains but the
bills must be paid

[DavidMc]

I can certainly relate to a lot of what you're saying here tl ... if I get deprived of sleep for any reason I can go crazy Fortunately fo me and everyone else, this doesn't happen too often.

D.

[tolteclogic]

yes it can tend to give the impression
of temporary madness but of course
it is a host of factors not eating the right
way as well as chronic lack sleep all
adds up and you become this crazy person
what ever justification you might of had
is nullified by all the needless drama
oh well fortunately it is not very often
it gets this bad generally we can just
coast along.... here is something
to balance things out

how do we remain at the center
of the circle when all around
life seems to be so out of
control i suppose that is the
number one question... who do
we allow into our circle or do
we even have a choice - some
times it may seem the universe
has a mind of its own and that
actually isn't to far from the
truth - it is said the universe
is forever out of control how
could we hope to change it as
we are being changed ourselves
the fact that we think we could
improve the world is the greatest
illusion of all - the world is sacred
as it is how could it be improved
around the wheel there are eight
trigams that complete the circle
these eight combine to create
in pairs of two 64 hexagrams
each of which reflect a specific
meaning either in the mundane
or on a far greater level reflecting
the moments of change and the possibility
of understanding beyond the scope of words
between the celestial and the mundane or
temproarl appearance of contiguous reality
waking up is only the beginning then
we have to find the words to put this in
to meaning which is the purpose of hidden
practice working in the dragons pool

[wistfuldragon]

On this subject I could spin wild but I will not...

Just wanted to say...

Bravo...well done...and glad not to be alone...lol...

wistmish

[anirbas]

insomniacal moments
can lead to poetical brilliance...
or the making of an ass of one's self...LOL...
astute commentary, Cleveland...

[tolteclogic]

Thank you David, Wistful and Sabrina,

Fortunately i seem to now be sleeping
much better... helping to identify
the little things like how that generic
ibupropen keeps me churning all night
long.... but now it seems i am finally
regaining my legs beneath me...
bicyling the way that i use to as my
primary means of transportation...
and now it seems we are in the
final phases getting this new leg
completed - the problem with my
insurance has cleared up for
the most part - at least they will
pay for it... and exercise has placed
me in a much better space of mind
twice over to Durham in the past
4 days dragging my ass always
before leaving, then gaining
energy along the way...
stopping at the quarry always
for a refreshing dip


Accidental Awakenings

what we put in
is all we get back
feed the contents
of your head
'Surprised by Joy"
at any moment
we could awaken
make the connection
with who we have
always been
balanced
at the heart
of creation

[Sam]

Sometimes, it is the people we allow into our life cycle that affect us the most.
If you are annoyed, and feeling down and negative all the time, look around you.
Who do you see? Listen and tell me what do you hear....
There is only so much emotion a person can carry.
Misery does indeed love company......and to bend an ear.
Sometimes, out of self preservation, one has to turn and walk away.
Free your mind of worry. Give your own thoughts and emotions
enough time to surface and reveal themselves to you, then,
comfort yourself. Kiss your own injuries. Tell yourself that everything
is going to be alright and that tomorrrow is another day.
Then you can allow yourself to rest. You can only deny yourself
for so long! Understand?


Sam

[tolteclogic]

Thank You Sam,

For the the longest time
all that i ever heard
was the silence
of this contemplative
life in reflection...
many twist and turns
along the way yet when
the body shuts down
there is nothing else to
be do or be done but
to wait and ride it out
We all have our own
unique challenges
in life that hopefully
serve to make us
the better person
we know ourself to be...
yet being cut off from an
ordinary existence
is not such a bad thing
it gives us distance and
the determination to survive
whatever life might thow at us
Commiting the One unforegiveable
sin back in 1977 after long years
in suffering indeterminate yet
chronic health complications
i had the experience of becoming
enlightened - which isn't so bad
in itself a perfectly natural event
but not something that can be
spoken openly... and so my real
life education in the so called
"real world" was set into motion
you see the secret to hidden
spiritual practice is that we have
the good sense of self preservation
not to tell the whole wide world
about it - it ain't nothing special -
like being surprised by joy... the
life of the conditioned self just
drops away and we are left
free standing in the present
moment or as in my case We
subject ourselves to an intensive
three day varitible witch hunt
inquisition and are virtually
crucified - time and time again
until almost there is nothing left
there is no putting this cat back
in the bag once we are crucified
and hung out to dry like the
hanged man for all to see
deep south bible belt southern
justice at its finest - awakened
could be highly over rated...
so it is not so much the experience
as the way we handle it that
matters most if we should
one day find ourselves on
this path of the inward way.
i could give my litany of abuses
endured at the hands of the
temporal police - the guys in
dark suits who came to
interogate my mother and
her willingness to recount ever
known misadventure of a life
or what it means to be so
ostracized as to be made the
laughing stock of the whole
university at the bequest of
adminstrative officials because
clearly i must have been deluded
even though i had learned from
my mistake after three days
of perpetual interrogation
that some things are better
left unspoken particularly in
vastly unsympathetic environments
yet i went on to win a departmental
scholarship for outstanding achivement
in art... And so the question remains
at this late date in the game why these
things should even matter? because
to speak of the injustices of the past
awakens all the intent that once
had arrisen to keep us slient
mundanity is a sleeping dragon
i was not intended to survive the initial
battle and as i sat at deaths door
and begain to write about it
all these many years later
the whole thing was awoken
for a brief moment in time
just long enough for me to
put it to rest Once and for All
my stolen life in unimaginable
hardships was not for nothing
gotta run go do that hard
manual labor thing.....
with balance in spirit

[Sam]

I wish we knew the answers......But, I do know someday, we will.
Everything that has happened to us so far, is leading us forward.
You know that as well as I do. Perhaps, on that day of awakening,
and the final clarity of mind, we will then look at each other and just
say, "Oh". Think?

Have a great day!

Sam

[anirbas]

slipping by to smile and say...I slept like a log, last night...hope everyone else did too...
generic ibuprofen keeps you awake, Cleveland? try taking generic benadryl with it...
LOL...don't listen to me...i'm not an apothecary...or would that be an apothecarist? must ask David...we don't have them here, but they do, across the big pond...here's to loads of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's for everybody when head to pillow
you doth lay to wallow in dreams of hap, hap, happy things...shutting up...Sabrina

[tolteclogic]

Thanks Ladies
just in one of those reflective
phases creating words that
don't exist just because
they fit the phrase...
'awoken' i kinda
like it... works
for me
in spirit
tl

[tolteclogic]

stormy search for the self
the soul of Rumi
secret of enneagrams
Spiritual Madness
the Way of Chung Tzu
magnus machina
mind magic
the art of dreaming

The fading smile
The essential Tao
The power of focus
The undiscovered self
Jewels within the heart
Metaphores of consciousness
Stolen lightening
The enlightened mind
Journey of socretes
The life you were born to live
Mastery
The Taoist I Ching
The Doors of perception
Essential Jung
The Wheel of time
Fire from within
Subtal Universal Law
integral way of life
A self made by magic(?)
A treasury of Gibran
Prometheus rising
Cosmic trigger
Journey to Ixtlan
The war against chiche'
Teachings of Gurdjiff
The essential Colin Wilson
Thoreau's Journals
Hidden knowledge
The book of life
Taoist Internal
Martial Arts
The Perennial Philosophy
Knowledge and the Scared
Entering the Tao
Four Archetypes
Be Here Now