Digesting the misery of me

[brandnewmessiah]

Well, it’s another day and another dollar
I used to laugh but now I holler
Call me insane, yes I’m off my rocker
With all the voices in my head what do I need to talk for

Got all this love but none of it is real
They give it and take it then ask how I feel
Like my heart was locked and you broke the seal
Then stomped all over it grinding in with your heel

Woke up again with my head steadily pounding
With the shower beating down I wish I was drowning
The radio says today will be astounding
The same as yesterday and here I am counting

The minutes away until I can sleep
Forever in peace with my soul to keep
Ending my suffering my life you can reap
I promise I won’t tell not even a peep

That it’s a better life without me in it
There is nothing I have contributed and I’m not afraid to admit
That if I wasn’t such a coward I would have already slit
Both of my wrists and tried to forget

That I lived a life as best as I could
And yet still never knew exactly where I stood
Spilled out my heart took the bad with the good
To never have it work out the way I thought it would

So it’s another day and another depression
Maybe tomorrow I can look back and say I’ve learned my lesson
But you can save your grieving and all your blessings
For my future has rotted past the point of digestion

[anirbas]

I've read this three times, tonight and had to walk away from it each time.
All I can say, now, is hot drat, Troy, you walk the walk and talk the talk
about life...You turn dark moments of the spirit into unearthly, eerily beautiful poeming...
Thanks for sharing, Messiah. Sabrina.

"That I lived a life as best as I could
And yet still never knew exactly where I stood
Spilled out my heart took the bad with the good
To never have it work out the way I thought it would"

~fragmentation of BNM's verse.