beach thoughts (ghazal)

[drakkoby]

I smooth the tidal canvas where dwells your love
choosing to write with the purple shells you love

gulls hover and backflap above the fish boats in a spiral
shrieking for sardines and bread, a feathered well you love

if I throw our relationship like sand into the air will it stay?
or gurgle and vanish in the ocean swells you love?

my thoughts are lumpy and hard as barnacles now
where do I find the wisdom to tell that you love?

enough! Drakkoby runs to the surf up to his knees
the foam speaks of air and faith and does not compell you, Love

[drakkoby]

(thank heavens we can edit our posts here! LOL... and the hardest thing is keeping the couplets independent enough to read them in any random order - I so want to "develop a theme"... hehe)

[DavidMc]

Well done at attempting this 'tricky' but rewarding form

Just one thing of note.. it's usual to include the name/pen name of the author in the final couplet.. so for example

"Enough! Drak runs to the surf etc..."

Here is a link to further Ghazal reading..

www.triplopia.org/inside.cfm?ct=366

Regards, David

[drakkoby]

thanks for the support and the link, David

[anirbas]

*CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!*

Well done, Drakkers!!!! Well done!!!!!
It is a very tricky form to write in...I've only completed
one ghazal to date...And David is right...I felt well rewarded when I did...ggglgggl...

Got more??

[anirbas]

Bump, like, exalt and all that rot. Remember him, Phantasm? Miss him, too.

[anirbas]

Another lovely example of the ghazal form. Misses me some Drakkers fiercely. Wonder what he got himself up to?

[anirbas]

~BumP~