Post by Sam on Aug 25, 2008 8:40:07 GMT -6
Sharon Bivens
August 25, 2008
Joycelyn Bivens
There are moments forever frozen in a special place within our memory that lay dormant. Our
mind sets up walls protecting us from the hurt caused by these moments. But they can still find a
way to come back to us in an instant with just as much force as the first time and hurt us just as
deeply, over and over again.
The night my mother left this world is one of the most severing moments in my life and has been
with me now for over thirty years.
It was a moment of clarity. Everything around me seemed so surreal as if I were on a stage,
and the only one remaining in some never ending scene.
As we left the hospital I was surprised to see life going on as normal. People were coming and
going, passing by me as if they did not even notice me or could not hear my heart breaking.
While I waited at the entrance for my husband to bring the car around, a song was playing over the
speakers. It haunts me even now. The oncoming cars lights seemed to glow and shoot
glittering, golden streaks of light as one by one they passed by me as I stood waiting The moon was
full and thousands of stars sprinkled across the crowded sky.
I stepped out of the car in front of our home and the fragrance of flowers hit me at once, engulfing
my senses with a sweet smell that was overpowering me and I gasped for fresh air. Every step I took
toward the house seemed an eternity and as I stepped into the doorway the surroundings looked
strange and alien to me.
My neighbors were watching my babies and though they tried to offer me comfort, there was no
comfort. I remember looking around the room at everyone and thinking it was all a dream and soon
I would awaken, but it was not to be. She was gone, and my life as I had known it was forever
changed, only coming back in moments… sharp piercing moments of clarity.
August 25, 2008
Joycelyn Bivens
There are moments forever frozen in a special place within our memory that lay dormant. Our
mind sets up walls protecting us from the hurt caused by these moments. But they can still find a
way to come back to us in an instant with just as much force as the first time and hurt us just as
deeply, over and over again.
The night my mother left this world is one of the most severing moments in my life and has been
with me now for over thirty years.
It was a moment of clarity. Everything around me seemed so surreal as if I were on a stage,
and the only one remaining in some never ending scene.
As we left the hospital I was surprised to see life going on as normal. People were coming and
going, passing by me as if they did not even notice me or could not hear my heart breaking.
While I waited at the entrance for my husband to bring the car around, a song was playing over the
speakers. It haunts me even now. The oncoming cars lights seemed to glow and shoot
glittering, golden streaks of light as one by one they passed by me as I stood waiting The moon was
full and thousands of stars sprinkled across the crowded sky.
I stepped out of the car in front of our home and the fragrance of flowers hit me at once, engulfing
my senses with a sweet smell that was overpowering me and I gasped for fresh air. Every step I took
toward the house seemed an eternity and as I stepped into the doorway the surroundings looked
strange and alien to me.
My neighbors were watching my babies and though they tried to offer me comfort, there was no
comfort. I remember looking around the room at everyone and thinking it was all a dream and soon
I would awaken, but it was not to be. She was gone, and my life as I had known it was forever
changed, only coming back in moments… sharp piercing moments of clarity.
