Post by Sam on Sept 17, 2008 13:38:15 GMT -6
I’m one of those lucky people that seems to draw the confused, depressed, oppressed,
social-pathic individuals like an invisible magnet. Every morning when I close my door and walk
to the bus stop I wonder what the day holds in store for me. It is always a new adventure though,
and I could never say my life was boring... for too long, anyway. I would also have to say I attract
“luck”. Not all good, definitely not all bad, but it’s always around me.
I have learned through the years to go with the flow. I am usually not really surprised anymore
when things “happen” and I have to say neither are my family and friends. (Well, not as much, anyway)
They usually laugh, cry, or just shake their heads now when I relay my latest mishap or adventure,
whichever the case may be.
“How do you always get yourself into these situations?” (I hear that one a lot.)
“If it can happen to anybody, it will happen to you!” (Another well worn out phrase).
Just recently I babysat my two grandbabies, Kiefer and Ava, over Labor Day weekend. I was
a little nervous by the time my daughter finished calling everyone she knew to let them know her
mom was going to be “Home Alone” with her kids for three days and nights. I was still okay until
she drilled me for an hour with numbers and procedures and schedules for each child to follow.
Kiefer is three and Ava is eleven months old….
I am still not sure how I got talked into babysitting-I think it was put to me as a “bonding time”
for me and the children.
We were dropped off Friday afternoon at my daughter’s house and as the other grandparent’s
taillights disappeared around the corner, they almost seemed to be twinkling laughter at me.
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So began our magic “bonding” weekend. Friday evening went quickly, but Saturday morning ,
6:00 A.M. sharp, I started my day with a baby girl-laughing, jumping up and down in her crib, and a
very loaded diaper. This attack was followed shortly by a smiling, loving, Kiefer wrapped in a blue
blanket….also loaded.
Let’s just say we survived Saturday. My tail feathers were dragging by the time I got them both to
sleep Saturday night. I decided I definitely deserved a glass of wine and a smoke outside. I opened
the door and a snake met me. We were both surprised, I think, but I was “Memaw, Hear Me Roar”,
quickly thinking, triangular head, wiggly escape attempt…..brick. I felt bad for the snake, but it was him
or me. Needless to say, I was awake then. I called my daughter wanting to do a Tarzan yell or beat on
my chest or something, but I had to settle with leaving a very excited message on their voice mail.
By Sunday afternoon I felt very powerful and only slightly frayed around the edges. I started up
the stairs to check on Ava and a “big” brown spider met me on the stairwell. “Oh, no, you don’t!” I said
quickly and went to step on him, but he was quicker than I was and jumped on my other foot. My mind
went into overtime. “I am fixing to get spider bit right here on these stairs,” I thought to myself as I did
a very quick foot shuffle , finally managing to flatten him, though out of respect I left him where he lay
for a time….
Monday morning, I knew I was on the home stretch….both children (and myself) still alive, fed,
and bottoms dry. I was up before Ava, made coffee, and decided to sit out on the front porch and
watch the sun rise before we started our day. I opened the door and low and behold….a strange truck
was parked in front of the house, completely covered in Saran Wrap, peanut butter, and toilet paper,
thrown all over the front yard.
It was then I looked around for the hidden cameras…repeating to myself, “This is a test. This is
only a test.” But, there I went, door to door in my “Somebody in Texas Loves Me” nightgown,
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waking people up asking about that truck. It turned out to be a prank by the neighbor’s girlfriend, so
mystery solved.
I got home about 9:00P.M. Monday night. All the way home my daughter was saying, “I can’t
believe you killed a snake. I can’t believe you killed a spider. I can’t believe you had such an
adventurous weekend,” shaking her head…..”Really?” was about all I could say.
I closed the door to my apartment and suddenly the silence hit me like a brick….I missed the little
ones a lot. I guess you could say we “bonded.”
I sat down on my couch and my killer cat, Pumkin, jumped on me, meowing and complaining
about being left alone all weekend. I was glad for the company.
