words to ponder

[peg]

there comes a time in our lives when we question our very being, what is our purpose in life, what can we do or what have we done that makes a difference in who we are as a human being. that is a very hard question to answer. we each have value in this world, but some of us go unnoticed, never have our name or face ever remembered. it is almost as if we never existed. yet somehow, i feel we do leave our mark behind, though we dont always know it. the way we touch people by what we say or do. the good deeds we have done that can make up some for some of the bad we may have caused as human beings. we are not perfect, we were never meant to be perfect, but we do learn, acting upon the good that we learn is what really matters, caring enough to do what is right. that is all we can do and all we should accept. not everyone is a leader, not everyone is a follower, some strike off on their own to become what they believe in and be who they imagine themselves to be, thats neither right or wrong, that is just one of the traits of being human. its been with us for eons and will be a part of us in the future. we are diverse as human beings. its when we cause pain to others or ignore the pains of others that make us less than who we should be. we as poets make the difference in this world, we write what we see, what we feel, what we believe. we are all as diverse as there are humans in this world, but we share our beliefs and minds. we speak out where others only shake their heads and walk away. that is who we are, that is what we will be remembered for, so never feel you are a no body, you are a some body......a some body who makes a big difference in the way people begining to think.

[pegesus]

well, who shall i be today? do i wish to be me (pegesus) or do i wish to be her (peg)? the quandaries life does hold for us........ making choices. i'm not good at making choices, they sometimes backfire on me......but then my whole life seemed to be one big backfire......till i finally realized that is wasnt a backfire......it was a lesson i had to learn.........the hard way.
some of those lessons i learned were the hardest i had ever experienced and life seemed so cruel to me.......then one morning i woke up and realized....it wasnt all about me after all, yes i had my input, i had my reasons, i could be someone who mattered, but only if i realized i wasnt the centerpiece on the cake. life is the union of the family, the love and bond we all have for each other, the sharing of that love and the experiences to help our loved ones make the difficult decisions they have to make on their road to maturity. we cant live their lives, nor can we tell them how to live theirs, we can only tell them how we lived ours and what happened to us. they must then look at it and dissect it to see if any of it is of use to them. that was one of my lessons in life. they come from all over, what we see, what we hear, what we do or dont do. the end result is what shows wheather or not our choice worked and what percussions it had on the lives of others........sooo much to consider and look at there was a reason to that statement we keep hearing.......so many angles to consider......life is those angles. so now i sit here pondering where has my mind been all these years that it took me over 50 years to finally grow up. i had everything i ever wanted from my life, except who i was, so i made a decision (with the help of my illness) to shuck it all away to go find who i was and what was wrong with me. 20 years of living in alice's wonderland till i finally learned and was granted the most wonderful gift ever given to me besides my words. i am happily back with my family and the love of my life and i are once more an "us" . we both combated our demons and can see each other as our hearts had always known. we now share with our sons, we now are a joint union for our grandchildren. hopefully we will be a good foundation for them. we are all within a four hour's drive from each other so no one is imposing their presence on the other and we are allowing our sons to grow up the way they should.......with mom and dad there to help out when needed, but not living their lives, just enjoying ours. my poems have changed some....they are no longer centered on me in a 'woe is me' attitude anymore and i have turned to other issues dear to my heart. fred and i are now working together on my next book and it will be the best i have ever put our as it is a joint effort. my life has finally come together for me and i do have a purpose now. i still want to help others reach their goals, i want to help them see their goals as a reality, not just a dream......but real.....it is there......you have to work for it though.....go through the hard things in life......learn from them......see where they are leading you to....happiness is only around the corner.......if you can get through the obstacles in the way.....there is hope.....and yes.........there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow