Post by aims on Nov 29, 2017 18:46:55 GMT -6
I wish my love mattered
but in effect
it does not
She is straight
I cannot tell her how I feel
it might make her uncomfortable
I do not want that
that would make me feel terrible about myself
I already believe I am cursed at Love
that would carve it in stone in my heart.
Let me be clear though,
I am not cursed at Love because I am LGBTQ
I am just personally cursed at Love,
I have never and will never believe it is wrong to be who I have always been,
and I have plenty of Long term lesbian couple friends who are happy, blessed!!
Just in case you don't believe me about having always been this way let me tell you a few things:
1. when I was 6 years old in first grade I had a crush on a woman second grade teacher
I got my mother to bring a christmas present to the school office for her
she found me in the cafeteria and hugged me and kissed my cheek
I turned red and just about peed my pants,
the next year when I didn't get her for a teacher and she had gotten married over the summer I was heartbroken
because I wanted to marry her.
2. Fast forward to 12, I had a huge crush on Ann Margret after i saw her in the movie: "The Train Robbers" with John Wayne, talked so incessantly about her that when my parents went to Las Vegas they photographed the Road sign at the hotel where Ann Margret was performing for me.
3. When I enetered 9th grade I was immediately smitten with one of the gym teachers at the school (I later, in fact, did find out she was a lesbian.)
4. I had my first full fledged girlfriend (includsing sex) at 17 as a senior in highschool.
The list goes on.
