If There Is a God He Can Kiss My Fucking Ass

[aims]

If there is a God he can kiss my fucking ass!!!
After a three year blissful happy reprieve from wanting anyone
he makes my pzth to cross that of a woman who, although she makes mine (and some other peoples) gaydar go off like a blaring airraid siren,
is apparently smitten wiyth the penis bearers of the world,
so I spent the last almost two years suffering in silence over my feelings for this woman,
and it is so all for nothing,
to please the sadistic God
who saw fit to have my path cross hers
when what I deserved was to continue having that reprieve after having suckass luck at love my whole life,
in my old age I deserved to have that reprieve be permanent.
So I will never write another spiritual poem about a Sadistic Fucking God who doesn't deserve my good words,
and I'm going to take another run at learning to have meaningless casual sex, bnever been successful at it before but I may be angry enough to be now!

[aims]

I had a dream earlier this evening about going to her house the only time I ever have or will but as usual with dreams it was dark and it was out in the middle of nowhere in short not the same place and I never actually saw or interacted with her in the dream but it was a dream I did not need to have i woke up miserable over it I do not want to think of her dream of her and I never do go out of my way to see her but will try to go one further and actively avoid seeing her from now on it may not be her fault but she is God's torturing device to me God has put her in my realm for the purpose of making me miserable. and I mean it when I say I may become a pagan. but what I am not anymore is a Christian.

[aims]

Wow, since I turned to the pagan Gods I have regained some energy and some will to do I threw in a load of laundry I took the trash to the dumpster, I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher and I unloaded 1 box which was some stuff for the trunk of my car and now I get to rest a while then i will take the vacuum out and vacuum and then instead of doing a full on mop I'll take a spray bottle of cleaner and two microfiber cloths and skate around the tiled part of the floor maybe i'll unpack another box. I put some pagan earrings in my amazon basket which I will purchase in the morning after my pay is deposited I am throwing awayu the cross earrings!!!

[aims]

Ok gonna fold some laundry walk the dogs one more time(because when I took them out either Eridan did his poop while I was cleaning up after Terra or it was someone elses dog that was in there right before us, still fresh and they left it and he usually goes around in a circle when he does and it was all in a one pile , so i don't want him to have to wait til tomorrow) and leave the floor and more boxes til tomorrow but the really exciting news it it's as if a miracle has occurred prayed to the pagan gods and not only everything I posted above I feel completely back to normal no body aches no fatigue and the clouds have lifted from my mood, should have turned to them years ago!!!!! wow. Ok still feel that way about her but you know what? every time the thought of her comes up I'm going to remind myself that God used her to torture me for the last two years and that she will never love me becuase she love's men, and use that to strengthen my will to not think of her!!!!

[anirbas]

"Well, other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

(Big hug and gentle poking in the above quote)

Or, you could be like me, Ms. Aims. Half-assed humanist
and a full blown atheist.

X-tian? Muslim? Pagan? Meh. It's all still religion. True story.

Since I have been witnessing your distress over this dame,
for several months, either here or other alternate universes
where we interconnect, through either poetry or bitter verbiage-
I feel, I must say something, anything to attempt to assuage
your mood.

God, any god, is not torturing you with her. She is not torturing
you with herself. YOU are torturing you with all of this. She can
not help being what she is, or who she is, anymore than you can
help being who and what you are, my sweets.

I have been worried about you, every since you stated, publicly,
either here or there...That you'd already started buying her
gifts and you didn't even know if she returned your affections.

At this point, crush becomes obsession. You've been obsessing over
her for several months, my beloved friend. I don't care whether
you assert yourself religiously as a Pagan, X'tian or Muslim.
You must free your mind yourself, so your ass can follow
you out of this slough of despondency you are torturing
yourself with these past months.

At the end of the day, people are just people.
That includes you. And that includes her.

*Universe, both great and small.
One true parent to us all.
Both, heavenly father
and celestial mother.
Divest of this pain our friend
these laments away do them send
Free her of this great sorrow
So may she enjoy her tomorrow.

Amen. Namaste'. Blessed be.*



And all that rot and polyglot. LoL
You've got the atheist poet penning
a prayer for you, sweets! But, seriously,
Blessed be, Amy. Just. Blessed. Be.

[anirbas]

I just want to squeeze you up in a big hug, girl.
But, this is the only way, I can do it, today.

(((((AMY)))))

[aims]

thank you Sabrina!!
All I know is since I turned away from the Christian God and toward the pagan ones it truly was that 180 miraculous on th physical health. And I have been stuck with these feelings about her for almost 2 years now but it's not really a choice with me I have never been able to choose who I am attracted to, but like I said I'm gonna take a run at casual sex, my dilemma is this with me the turn on sexual is all about who for me, you could be the most asthetically pleasing looking and most celebrated lover on the planet technique-wise, but if I am not attracted to you you could get me off, because what is the turn on for me is WHO I am with so the challenge is to try to and pray to the pagan gods to bring the needle more to the middle where the what is happening actually matters some, not just the who. Maybe you think the Christian God is not torturing me with her but I choose to look at it that way because otherwise I have no hope of getting out of this situation. and while I'm on the subject the Christian God tried to test me to see if he could still torture me today. . . but like I said everytime I see her or think of her I'm going to tell myself that this is just that God trying to torture me (not her I don't blame her although I think it is maddening that she still sets my Gaydar off even though indicators say she's straight.) this is the only way I can be strong enough to not succumb to the misery of wanting her.

[aims]

one more thing my dear friend , I bought her those presents knowing I could never give them to her there was never a question about it!!! but I do really appreciate you caring and concern and know that in the only way I can I am trying to get out from under these feelings.

[aims]

Hey it's no crazier to believe the Pagan God's have worked miraculous for me then it is for Christians to believe the Christian God has for them, if it is crazy then I'm in a multitude of company, the way Christians are believing that they are helped, all the time!! I look at it this way you do or believe what you need to whatever helps you along in this life!!! Not that you were saying it was crazy and I respect your right not to believe also!!!!!

[anirbas]

I know, sugar. I know. Love is so stupid.
And it's never what we thought it would be
when we were wishing it could be...LmBo.

And it goes without saying, as an atheist
I find I often have more regard for Wiccans
than X'tians and Muslims. As the first tenet of Wicca is-
do no harm. Christians and Muslims have been killing
each other for two thousand years now. Both claim
they do it for their choice of god...Crusades...Jihad...
Same damn thing.

I feel better reading the comments you left me.
Not as worried...Ah, but, then again, I tend
to be a worry wart. Been that way, from the start...

Tag! You're it! Catch me if you can!

[aims]

Ah, don't worry my dear I have been hanging out on this earth for 58 years now
through lots of rotten luck at love,
so, . . . it goes on!!
but it is nice to be cared about!!
So, from that perspective,
thanks for being a worry wart on my behalf!!