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Post by rrw on Jan 10, 2007 10:04:43 GMT -6
My Cream Colored Psychedelic Flashback flashing back to acid coated tracers tracking jungle-booted steps across a stoned-henge reality... "It's getting near dawn..."Cream's psychedelic shadow cracking over portable radios... blue stain sky draped in white cloaked clouds... rumbling thunder spouting black diesel smoke... "When lights shine on tired eyes..."faces green with camouflage burnt suntan brown beneath flak jackets, stale breath and bubble gum... way, way back when we were young, dumb and full of deadly dreams... "I'll soon be with you my love..." rolling along Highway 9 adrenaline rush bouncing up and down my fragile spine in the bed of a Marine green 12X... Big Daddy G behind me, with salty slight of hand magically fires up his dovetailed joint against a sandpaper wind... suck it down, Brother, pass it around... hitting on heaven in my cupped hand, and... it's one small toke for man, and... one giant toke for mankind, and... suddenly... "To give you my dawn surprise..."48 hours earlier stranded at LAX, tongue-tied to each other, my fingers tangled deep in your blond hair, the soft flesh of your arms surrounding me... a second skin... never wanting to let go... your kiss tattooed upon my lips, your gentle whisper to my ear, "I love you... Forever!" "I'll be with you darling soon..."CLICK, CLICK, CLICK! every swinging Dick pops a fresh clip into his M-16, feeling lean, feeling mean... the sun drilling tiny holes through my helmet, dust thicker as the convoy slithers out of Saigon like a metal python... "I'll be with you when the stars start falling..." as the city gives way the jungle green, dark blossoms before us like an open wound... the convoy picks up speed didi mauing like a mother... lush rice paddies, napalm skittish mama sans knee high in mud nothing but a black pajama blur... old grunts sporting ratty utilities, head tripping glances over their shoulders listening with their eyes scrutinizing every tree, every movement, every sound... and all us gung-ho bastard sons of John Wayne, all us bootcamp, Jolly Green Giant Motherfuckers... gearing up for war... Ho, Ho, Ho! Rock and Roll! screaming in my head, pounding rhythm gonna free my soul... as we disappear into a cold, gray hearted darkness... "I've been waiting so long..."13 months after... I waltz out of the jungle... "I've been waiting so long..."back into the world dragging a seabag of dying memories behind me... "I've been waiting so long..."back at the airport where I left her, listening... to the suffocated echo of those last words she ever said to me, "I love you... Forever!" "To be where I'm going..."knowing all the time... I'll never see her... never hear her... say those words... again... "In the sunshine of your love..."* Sunshine of Your Love by Jack Bruce, Pete Brown & Eric Clapton * Yes, I know... It's long... |
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Post by anirbas on Jan 10, 2007 10:43:58 GMT -6
What it is...Is absolutely powerful...
The visuals opened the door on a slice of life,
so few of us see, in actuality...Lucky us...
I felt like I fell into the jungle, in this poem...
I was there, on the ground...Incoming...
Lock and load...Powerful and poignant writing, Robert...
In reading it...I kept thinking of the song lines...
"bettah run through the jungle...doncha look baaaack..."
Sabrina.
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Post by glenn on Jan 10, 2007 11:06:30 GMT -6
Great stuff!
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Post by vixen on Jan 10, 2007 11:15:42 GMT -6
Rob, Oh my God, this was totally... I don't know. I haven't words to describe how this touched me. I felt I was there,holding the memory of her, just to get you through all the terror and mayhem. Atotally powerful piece of work. I think this is the best I have ever read of yours... and that in itself is totally amazing as all your work is. Loved it... always Vixen
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Post by rrw on Jan 10, 2007 11:20:12 GMT -6
What it is...Is absolutely powerful... The visuals opened the door on a slice of life, so few of us see, in actuality...Lucky us... I felt like I fell into the jungle, in this poem... I was there, on the ground...Incoming... Lock and load...Powerful and poignant writing, Robert... In reading it...I kept thinking of the song lines... "bettah run through the jungle...doncha look baaaack..." Thanks, Ani. I don't write much Vietnam poetry... I think I've written three maybe. There is a Vet name JP who hangs out once in awhile over at the "other site" who really writes some great Vietnam stuff. This is about as close as I get to antiwar poetry... It's not really that either or prowar... More like I just try to create the experience as I remember it and let the reader decide what that experience means. Thanks for letting me post it the way I want it seen.  |
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Post by rrw on Jan 10, 2007 11:20:53 GMT -6
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Post by rrw on Jan 10, 2007 11:31:40 GMT -6
Rob, Oh my God, this was totally... I don't know. I haven't words to describe how this touched me. I felt I was there,holding the memory of her, just to get you through all the terror and mayhem. Atotally powerful piece of work. I think this is the best I have ever read of yours... and that in itself is totally amazing as all your work is. Loved it... always Vixen Thanks, Vix! That first day in Vietnam was mind blowing. It was all so unreal! and happened so fast... Like I was caught up in flooding river, helpless, just trying to relax and go with the flow. The scariest things about that first day was hearing that "click, click, click" as everyone lock and loaded their weapons... then seeing the jungle for the first time as we headed North. Back then everybody had these little pocket size transistor radios and there was "Sunshine of Your Love" just blaring all over the place mixed in with the rumble of th convoy... It was mind shattering. I wrote it primarily without caps to try to capture that stream of consciousness feel that the whole thing took on. Thanks for the read and the wonderful comment. Means a lot, folks!  |
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Post by johnyamrus on Jan 10, 2007 12:10:51 GMT -6
amazingly well-written! Full Metal Jacket!
great stuff!
john
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Post by rrw on Jan 10, 2007 15:54:45 GMT -6
HEEHEE! I'm more of a Platoon fan. Of all the guys who have put out Vietnam movies, Oliver Stone comes the closest to the real thing. Although I did have nightmares after seeing the bootcamp part in Full Metal Jacket. It was right on the mark! Thanks for the read, JohnY!
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Post by netfolk on Jan 10, 2007 18:09:29 GMT -6
This is the second time I have read this rrw, just as stunning as the first time. This is one of my favorites of yours, this write has everything ... even music in the background, it transports me to a time which I never was part of, days of Woodstock, the peace movement, Vietnam et al .. and also into one of life's real jungles ... incredible thoughts and excellent pen.
peace as always,
Bernie
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Post by DavidMc on Jan 10, 2007 20:19:23 GMT -6
You're a great writer - Owen could have written this one Rob -and it's an honour to have you on the site.
David
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Post by rrw on Jan 11, 2007 0:22:36 GMT -6
This is the second time I have read this rrw, just as stunning as the first time. This is one of my favorites of yours, this write has everything ... even music in the background, it transports me to a time which I never was part of, days of Woodstock, the peace movement, Vietnam et al .. and also into one of life's real jungles ... incredible thoughts and excellent pen. peace as always, Bernie LOL, Net! Yeah, I'm trying for that psychedelic feel. On my website I tried as best I could to make look like the old Filmore posters in SF. You guys have really been kind in your comments. Thanks so much. |
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Post by rrw on Jan 11, 2007 0:24:13 GMT -6
You're a great writer - Owen could have written this one Rob -and it's an honour to have you on the site. David David, thanks for having me back... and for reading. I'm not sure who Owen is though. Who is he (or she)? |
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Post by DavidMc on Jan 11, 2007 2:23:17 GMT -6
You're a great writer - Owen could have written this one Rob -and it's an honour to have you on the site. David David, thanks for having me back... and for reading. I'm not sure who Owen is though. Who is he (or she)? Wilfrid Owen - the great first WW poet. I posted some of his work on the fav Poets forum. Regards, David. |
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Post by dawness on Jan 11, 2007 6:49:41 GMT -6
blow me down!!! a narrative in poetic, powerul force. breathless and full of surprising turns. wow, rr. when will do medea? |
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Post by rrw on Jan 11, 2007 9:20:49 GMT -6
Thanks, D! Medea is one of those things still on drawing board/ It really hinges on whether we can get enough people to commit to a production... it's a very small town... But I am trying to get my boss to get to work on the music so we can maybe do it about a year from now.
Thanks for the read!
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Post by johnyamrus on Jan 11, 2007 9:51:56 GMT -6
the first thing that came to mind after reading this amazing poem is if and when you go to publish this you've got to overcome the copyright issues involved with the song and music you're using...and that can get expensive.
john
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Post by anirbas on Jan 11, 2007 10:12:20 GMT -6
Thanks, Ani. I don't write much Vietnam poetry... I think I've written three maybe. There is a Vet name JP who hangs out once in awhile over at the "other site" who really writes some great Vietnam stuff. This is about as close as I get to antiwar poetry... It's not really that either or prowar... More like I just try to create the experience as I remember it and let the reader decide what that experience means. Thanks for letting me post it the way I want it seen. ~*~ No need to thanks for "letting" you post it, the way it was written, Robert. David and I, our first and foremost goal, or vision, per se, here...Was and is to create a haven where poets could write in a no holds barred, just express yourself, atmosphere...We are poets... All words are always open game, open season for us...Including the words fuck and joints... There is not a word in any language, we do not have carte blanche as poets to use, to paint a picture or get a point across...All slices of life are open to us to paint...Our own experiences, as well as others... I was surprised you even felt the need for permission to post the piece...All I could think reading it the first time, is the guys are going to eat this up with a spoon, knife and fork... And we are all going to get as close as we can get, without fear of being shot at--to the front line of what it's like to be trapped in the actual theater of a war... I saw Platoon and Full Metal Jacket, too...Two of the best "modern" war movies, I've seen...Til then, I didn't think a war movie could be done that didn't include John Wayne or Lee Marvin or Steve McQueen...LOL...Dirty Dozen is just a classic...Vincent D' Onfrio [mssplld] gave a stellar, chillingly adept performance in Full Metal Jacket... And also, in reading this, was reminded of the Wilfred Owen piece, David mentioned. Another stunningly real but poetical piece on what it feels like to be in the middle of a war...I'd suggest you give a read through of the Owen piece, over in the Favourite Poems and Poets board... Has anyone told the lot of you, what a wonderful group of poets and people you are, today? Well, I just did...Now, lock and load your pens and get back to writing about anything... Everything and nothing...That's our job, as poets...To leave no stone in our minds, or anyone else's for that matter, unturned...LOL...Great weekending, folks! Yipee! It's almost here! Nir. |
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Post by rrw on Jan 11, 2007 18:47:52 GMT -6
the first thing that came to mind after reading this amazing poem is if and when you go to publish this you've got to overcome the copyright issues involved with the song and music you're using...and that can get expensive. john Yeah, that is always a concern... I know I got lyrics, but I'm not sure what music I'm using...? |
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Post by rrw on Jan 11, 2007 18:50:59 GMT -6
Thanks, Ani. I did read the Owens stuff and made some comments on the thread. It's really good stuff. If you like poetic cussing, you should try some of David Mamet's plays. he is the Shakespeare of the dirty word. He's given credit for inventing the word: "Un-fucking-believable!"  |
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Post by netfolk on Jan 11, 2007 20:23:49 GMT -6
btw rrw, I visited you site, absolutely fantastic. I can see why you bawk at my 'stock' photography lol you indeed are very talented.
peace as always,
Bernie
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Post by rrw on Jan 11, 2007 23:13:10 GMT -6
Seriously, I'm not trying to be critical about it cause you can see I got a lot of art work with my poetry... and to be totally honest about it, I'm not sure it all works that well... I think for some of them it does, but a few are just in the way of the poetry. For me the visual has to really enhance the poem or else it just gets in the way... a few of the poems on the site are grouped together on one page with just a little visual that really has nothing to do with the poems. When I get ready to try and turn my poems into a book, I will probably cut back on the visuals... be a little more selective. Thanks for visiting the site.
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Post by anirbas on Jan 12, 2007 21:20:22 GMT -6
It's not that I neccessarily like poetical cursing, Rob...It's just my individual belief, a poet
should use the word that fits...And sometimes, that word is a curse word...
Would love to stay and read more, tonight...Raining to hard at the moment, folks!
Great weekending to all of you and no matter what you do, keep writing...Sabrina.
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Post by rrw on Jan 13, 2007 1:00:59 GMT -6
Yeah, I'm all for using language too... if it's used well.
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Post by artolmaeus on May 22, 2022 22:00:29 GMT -6
tomorrow, I would be willing to let it all go, if this was the cream I could put in my coffee....Jesus, this is whole
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