Post by aims on Aug 18, 2018 7:30:55 GMT -6
My heart has a mind of it's own. . .
or rather an iron will!
It does not respond to commands,
logical reasons,
or any other appeal I might make from my mind!
It wants what it wants,
and "it's impossible & not gonna happen"
do nothing to deter it.
It's like this. . .
I do not choose who I am attracted to or fall for,
at least not consciously,
and it usually hits like a ton of bricks
not in gradual inklings that I could dismiss.
In the case of this woman I have been enamoured of for the last two years,
she lights up all my lightbulbs
just by coming near me
that hasn't happened in 40 years,
no one has affected me that way since my first girlfriend when I was a senior
in high school.
So imagine how discouraged I am,
it took 40 years to come across someone
who rings all my bells
(even ones I thought were permanently disconected, & the first girl just a fluke)
if it took that long to find someone else who I feel that way about . . .
I know a third one is not right around the corner,
especially since over the two years my feelings for her have not diminished,
and at 58 If it takes anothr 40. . .
at 98 I'm not gonna be hooking up with anyone.
so my future. . .
it's looking pretty alone.
or rather an iron will!
It does not respond to commands,
logical reasons,
or any other appeal I might make from my mind!
It wants what it wants,
and "it's impossible & not gonna happen"
do nothing to deter it.
It's like this. . .
I do not choose who I am attracted to or fall for,
at least not consciously,
and it usually hits like a ton of bricks
not in gradual inklings that I could dismiss.
In the case of this woman I have been enamoured of for the last two years,
she lights up all my lightbulbs
just by coming near me
that hasn't happened in 40 years,
no one has affected me that way since my first girlfriend when I was a senior
in high school.
So imagine how discouraged I am,
it took 40 years to come across someone
who rings all my bells
(even ones I thought were permanently disconected, & the first girl just a fluke)
if it took that long to find someone else who I feel that way about . . .
I know a third one is not right around the corner,
especially since over the two years my feelings for her have not diminished,
and at 58 If it takes anothr 40. . .
at 98 I'm not gonna be hooking up with anyone.
so my future. . .
it's looking pretty alone.
