Why God?

[aims]

It's not her fault
she's just living, being herself
why, God did you let my path and hers cross???
You had to know that my unrequited feelings for her would be a stake
driven through my heart,
in the end,
especially when she leaves and I never see her again.

[aims]

It's not the fact that I cannot have her
I've known that all along
It's not the fact that I am just a face in the crowd
again, known
It's that I will never see her again, soon,
that's killing me.

[aims]

My heart's for the killing
to a deity who's willing
to have it be so,
I'd have been better off
thinking that those potent feelings
were the dealings
of the first lover kind
that false assumption I labored under for 40 years
made it possible for my heart and mind
to see the possibility of other than tears,
but now I am beyond heart's death fears
I am, truly, the lonliest of queers!