Introducing.................. Me!

[phantasm]

Well hello Mr. New Employer! Yeah, I'm responding to the ad in the paper you ran yesterday.

So, who am I, you ask? Sure, I can answer that.

I'm a white male, about 5'10", fairly skinny.

I'm a big reader. Oh, but I also totally binged on Stranger Things and I can't wait for season 3.

I usually prefer to wear blue jeans and T-shirts.

I'm also an agnostic Gnostic, a crypto-Humanist Christian, a Progressive Christian,

a  quasi-ex-Christian who still thinks of himself as a Christian but is fed up with the Church,

a self-help junkie, a fan of Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way and The Prosperous Heart...

hmmm let me see, I'm one of those spiritual but not religious people.

I live alone.

No, I don't have a wife. I don't have kids. I don't have a dog or a fern. It's just me. I like it that way. I'm single at heart.

There's a Facebook page for that, actually. Besides, my apartment is easier to clean with me being the only big living thing in the place.

What? What hell? Why are you looking at me that way? It's as if you think there's something wrong with me. Maybe you don't know enough about me yet.....

Well, there's this obscure corner of the internet I like to go to and write free verse, somewhat/sometimes with a rhyming scheme, it's sort-of poetry

and I have this old friend who runs it that I met forever ago. I can give you the website address if you'd like.

I'm a gigantic science fiction fan. Star Trek, Star Wars, Babylon 5, Firefly, Earth 2--

Huh? What do you mean, you've never heard of Earth 2 or Babylon 5? They were on in the '90s.

I also read a ton of science fiction books. Right now I'm reading Earth Abides by a guy named Stewart.

Huh? What do you mean, you've never herd of Earth Abides? It's a classic of science fiction.

Another writer I like is Jeffery Carver. What? No. I'm getting his name right. His name isn't Raymond Carver.

Jeffery Carver, the guy who writes sf. The guy you're thinking of writes literary short stories of some kind.

I also have a whole bunch of Star Trek books.

One of my all-time favorite games was Yar's Revenge. You know, the Atari game? You remember the Atari, don't cha?

Yeah! I see the light of remembering in your eyes now. What? What do you mean, you hated that game? That's a great game!

Oh yeah, the job, we should talk about that. Sure, I can do the job just fine, I'm a fairly competent guy.

I stayed at my last job for forever, so I'm not just going to walk away spontaneously.

But I don't enjoy being told what do do. I mean, I'll do the job but I don't have to love or adore it., it's just a job. I have my own life outside the job.

Speaking of life, we are all being oppressed by the current economic system. I won't bend over backwards to kiss your ass or make you feel "good."

I'll never love my servitude. I'll never love you. I do this because I need the money.

It's not about you and it's not about me. It's about building a world we can all live in while being who we are.

The way we're taught to think about money in this culture is broken. We're using the threat of starvation to press people into service. That is wrong on so many levels.

What we really need is an economic system that's fair to everyone and doesn't treat human beings like pack animals.

Oh, right, the job. Sorry about me going off on a tangent like that. My brain likes to go off on tangents. That's another thing you ought to know about me.

Yeah, I fit the qualifications in the ad to a 'T.' I don't have a problem with the job requirements.

So-- when do I start?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm in middle of a job hunt and I just had to vent my frustration.................

[darkness0within]

Know where you're coming from Phantasm. It can be frustrating I'm sure.

There was a time when things were very different.

I remember seeing one of my employers outside his business for an interview.

Prospective boss: "I understand you're looking for a job".

Me: "Yes".

Prospective boss: "You can start on Monday. I'll give you a six month trial".

Me: "Thank you".

And that was about it. Shortest interview I've ever known. I didn't work there very long. About eight or so years, but he was one of the best bosses I've worked for in recent years. He always paid salary on time. Gave everyone he employed a Christmas box of goodies every year. A kind man. And a shrewd business man. And for that I always gave 100%.

But times have changed. Now you need to have qualifications for everything including how to use the toilet it seems.

I have been lucky through time. Always a job has come up. And I've had a few over the years. My current job I've been doing for a long time. longer than many reading this have been alive.

As always a thought provoking write my friend.

Certainly dredged up a memory or two for me.

[phantasm]

Some of this stuff is stuff I WANT to be able to say in an interview but it's "inappropriate" according to the culture.

Stuff like, "I will never love my servitude. I will do the job you need me to do, that's it."

I'm supposed to be able to demonstrate self-awareness, but what they seem to be looking for is a shallow, politically correct
version of self-awareness. I'm supposed to demonstrate, verbally while sitting on my ass, my competence on the job. I'm supposed
to be able to answer any bullshit question the interviewer lobs at me with perfect poise and wit and impress the hiring manager
with my wry sense of humor without eviscerating the power structure of the corporation.

I'm supposed to demonstrate my personality, but vast swaths of my personality have absolutely nothing to do with the job.

Well........... you get the picture.

[anirbas]

I absolutely enjoyed this read!!! So, so very universal.

I could say more, but, I'm tired, boys. Going to hit the shower and go to bed early. Tomorrow is my Friday!!!

I will be back......................................

[darkness0within]

The truth is most employers don't want to hear the truth about ourselves phantasm. Unless its detrimental to their business, then of course you don't get the job. If it's useful to their business. then you're hired. 

But it sometimes comes down to personalities. Or who you know, if you know what I mean?

We work to pay the bills that we have in life. If we happen to like what we do, that's a bonus.

[phantasm]

Applied to 4 different places this morning over the Net, and even though I was lying on my couch it was freaking exhausting.

One of them rejected me automatically without me ever speaking to a human being.

One of them isn't hiring at the moment but I put in my app anyway, for the future

The other two may have some promise......

Sigh. The bureaucratic version of knocking on doors.

Automation is bad for job seekers. You can't speak to a human being face-to-face.

If I could just make a human connection........................... I wrote cover letters to bolster my resume,

but I could only use one of them. I wish snail-mail was more prominent like it was back in the day. Or something.

[anirbas]

I feel your pain, Phantasm. Working in retail is a pain in the bum, but it pays the bills and allows for a few thrills.

My dream job of course, would be one in which I either created poems and prose; painted; or played an instrument as a musician. That's never
going to happen, at this point.

And now, I'm old enough, if I can just get twelve more years out of this PsA riddled body and retire, I'll be happy.

It still helps to follow up an internet application with a knock on the door, if that is feasible, or possible.

[phantasm]

I just got done doing a particularly grueling "assessment/personality test." They claimed, just be yourself, just answer the questions naturally, just be yourself.

Bullshit. I just spent the better part of an hour taking an academic test, and a test to supposedly ferret out my "real personality."

There were right answers and wrong answers. The test was in two parts and part one was a test of literacy and numeracy.

Stuff like "grain is to a silo as ink is to a pen" or shit like that, and square footage problems. If you want to test my ability to solve math problems,

say so. If you want to test my ability to recognize a simile or a metaphor or a comparison, say so.

Damn it.  There were genuinely wrong answers to the freaking supposed personality test.

All that effort, for a job I may or may not snag....................

[phantasm]

I am waiting on a response to the local town's library. Jumped at the chance to work there.
My town has a library system, yes. It has not grown much with the increasing size and complexity of this town,
unfortunately. The library is on the West side of town and I live on the East end. The interview went decently well,
some of my responses could've been better, though. Freaking interviews. They stress me out. God, I hope I get the job......

[heartfelt7]

I hope you get the job, too, Phantasm. I really do because it sounds like you have a real enthusiasm to work there. Sometimes I think we all need a shot of enthusiasm. Good luck!!!!!

[phantasm]

Actually, I'm tempering my enthusiasm. I'm not getting my hopes up too much.
I'm cautiously hopeful.

[darkness0within]

I hope you get the job too. good luck to you Phantasm.

[phantasm]

I have a couple more job interviews. One is later today on the 6th, the next one is scheduled for the 8th.
Wish me luck.

[phantasm]

I am finally making progress on the job front. I'm getting through to somebody.
I'm hoping one of my possibles will pan out by the end of the month, if not before.

[darkness0within]

Good luck Phantasm... I hope all goes well for you.

[phantasm]

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

    I finally have a new job. Ever heard of Aldi? They're a grocery chain that started somewhere in Europe. Sooooo, I start tomorrow morning. God, it's been a grueling process. But, at least I'll be making dollars again. All the innuendo and bullshit I had to cut through and navigate through to get here..... all the painful interview questions that didn't even lead to a job....... all the applications I filled out, did a human being ever look at them? Depends on the job, probably..... some probably did, others didn't....

God, I hate this process. Who in their right mind would willingly subject themselves to all this every 5 to 7 years?

    Anyhoo. I'm making dollars again!

[anirbas]

HIGH FIVE!!! Congratulations, Phant!!! How awesome is that??? Aldi originally opened doors in Germany. Very popular in European countries and in the UK. David was thrilled when one opened here in the small-ish city we now reside in.

That being said, Aldi is an excellent company to work with and for. They actually close on major holidays, unlike the retail "evil empire" I am employed with. Haha. And, from what I'm given to understand they have great benefits and opportunities for advancement for those that desire to go into management.

Good for you, Phantasm!!! I don't mind working. But, like you, I abhor the whole process of pounding the pavement and searching for employment. Which, is why I've stayed with this company for twelve years. Haha.