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Post by whitbypoet1 on Apr 20, 2021 14:48:26 GMT -6
The moonlight painted pictures
On a mist embroidered night,
Like dancers on a curtain
When their movements meet the light,
And each movement masqueraded
With such symmetry and grace,
Every dream that ever wandered through
The smile upon your face.
Then the wine glass that you lifted
Shone with such a crimson fire,
Like the ruby tinted renaissance
Of dreams that we desire,
As a single diamond trickled
From the heaven in your eyes,
And its sacred presence touched me
With a sense of soft surprise.
As our lips met in that instant
I felt such a sense of pain,
Like a wish that lost forever
In the mist embroidered rain,
Where I saw you in the moonlight
And I felt your tender touch,
For I just could not remember
Anyone I’d loved so much.
Then I sensed the curtains closing
And I felt you move away,
As I stood within my silence
There was nothing I could say,
For the moonlight painted pictures
Faded slowly on the air,
Leaving only the impression
Of your presence drifting there…
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Post by anirbas on Apr 29, 2021 23:43:57 GMT -6
Clap! Clap! Clap! Excellent. Melodic setting of the mood. Nascent and delightful writing.
And you used so many of my favorite words!
Moonlight Embroidered Dancers Masquerade Symmetry Crimson Renaissance
Lovely piece. Lovely. Welcome aboard, Whitby!
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Post by nimbusGLOW on Apr 30, 2021 10:07:37 GMT -6
Clap! Clap! Clap! Excellent. Melodic setting of the mood. Nascent and delightful writing. And you used so many of my favorite words! Moonlight Embroidered Dancers Masquerade Symmetry Crimson Renaissance Lovely piece. Lovely. Welcome aboard, Whitby! I totally agree with "anirbas". And I'll add "Bravo ! BRAVO !!".
Along with its love-theme and your melodic intent, I echo the favorite words she'd mentioned in her reply.
To those grand words, I'll add ... Heaven Grace sacred presence drifting
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Post by artolmaeus on Nov 7, 2021 17:45:27 GMT -6
the imagery, so good...but to feel pain in a kiss? intense, a good kiss is a mind eraser for me and I completely get lost and I enjoy it all, like a baby oyster before the carpenter and walrus, I am vulnerable and helpless so to consider being able to still reason and feel and hold a thought is a prescience I have yet to know, but this poem has great form and hits every button or trigger and it makes me want to write more...
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