regardless

[anirbas]

there are days I smile
contagiously beneath the blue
faced mask if only you could see

on random days I write stay positive
on my wrist with an ink pen to remind
me love and light overflow my life

all have used what is close to hand
I'll wager to survive the tumult
of the past two virulent years

I did find I loved when the highways
were empty veins save for myself my car
and the other occasional lone drivers

[artolmaeus]

based upon the internet connection we have had, I find this far more reverie than lament, which, I overall take as a positive vibe from this...there is a loss of random freedom and a more certain sense of "confinement" without definition. In the end, all this "prevention" may have not done much. In just being hopefully ahead of the mindless regulators, I acquiesced to having three of the shots. The last booster has taken a well controlled rhumatoid arthritis into a daily motion issue into my bones. seemingly, monkey pox is the next opportunity for these megalomaniacs. Even to a greater degree, I believe the COVID 19, was a brilliantly engineered virus with a diminishing apoptosis to serve the combined needs of both American and Chinese joint efforts. So many of my affiliations with company men have had to be let go and as much the dictates of declassification will ever go, I only wish to find one Major Tom(real name)and beat his ass wholly. I do remember a conversation about the movie "V is for Vendetta" and we were more or less channeling the same timeline twenty years earlier, of course, still hoping it was only delusionary visions and not accurate eigengrau cheats. In hindsight, the whole experience was a bust and from all of my journies through Mexico, Washington, meeting John and Bruce Klingbiel(three months before their mutual and violent suicide). Perhaps though, the actual wheels of fate and life have been convolved with a great deal of force of will to which the backlash will be a return to center(though I feel the extremes have yet to be reached before that is possible and then it will be like being a Bulgarian who just got tired and had to learn how to retaliate just like Evie learned from V in the movie). The mechanism though was a virus. At this point, I believe COVID 19 was only a test. It was successful and the metrics should have them quite well pleased. Collectively, the affectations and changes caused my the MRNA antiviral innoculations has also changed a large population of people and with just the right proteins expressed(via RNA manipulation)it could be triggered by a far simpler mechanism such as a modified Rhinovirus or any other common and innocuous "seasonal" issue. Water, pollen, pollutants or anything easily dispersed into the atmosphere that only takes a small, small amount to trigger a newly formed rna chain because, collectively, all of us who took the covid vaccines are genetically modified in so many of our rna codices that only the sequencing a.i.'s could keep up with the permutations. Just like the movie V, it was about more than politics, it was absolute power, centralized in only a few select hands(Stalin and his paranoia come to mind)and the rest, whatever you label it is just pure feudal and maritime law letting you know it never went out of vogue even if no one is taught it as well, vis-a-vie, the few overlords and the mass pleebs and serfs. No one then, in the chain is free, and like a phrase from the movie, "I don't believe in coincidence", such seeming randomness and a lack of responsibility or attribution to actually controlling this is only part and parcel of a pablum to keep everyone at bay like religion keeps the poor from killing the rich because of that whole "money is the root of all evil" bullshit. Well, in just a short time, it is really funny how polarized all this shit has become and even individuals are so willing to defend a rather ill idea(oh, and it is not a good one)to the point I am certainly shocked that I have not been summarily banned from the last place I know I don't hold agreement with but at least seem to have a tolerable allowance of my wiggy little thoughts to be what they are. I am grateful for that as long as I have a dissonance, I have a balance. However, as in all things, the entropy of what was even certain just a bit ago, well, it is in full swing. I still stand grateful for all of this, for your story, for David's story, for Amy Cain Newsome and Bronwyn(whom I did manage to have some phone conversations with but she is at such a high frequency that I get lost in her context, and she, is such a unique and honest being in this earth, for the most part I feared I bored her and just frustrated her because I am so much slower than I hope I would be and therein, I concede with her I met my better and my match....as to what has happened to her since, I hope has been good as her energy and capacity is completely resurrectional, I don't know....just as I had some deep convos with Amnacar, she was battling things I shall leave in Vegas conversation). However, not for the sake of being liked or even having all just peach stuff said, what has been said has been honest, and for me, wonderful. As a place where all of the stuff I have written and it has all been written in the moment and usually within 5 minutes or less with no edits, though I do go back and edit some mispellings and grammar from time to time. I know it comes from outside me but once in my head, oh god, I just want to get it out and write it through no matter how wild or boring it may be. It is really well, Nir, David, Amy, Brownwyn and Amnacar that have been part of some constant process and if I were Lot and God was asking me for people to mention so that the world may be spared, I have no other list. The momentum has certainly waned as it does ebb and flow depending on everyone's downloads or influences or the moments we are in. As for love, hatred, revilement, disgust or whatever, they are so damned meaningless. The greatest thing I arrived at, has been through this connection on B'net and here that the real thing, the most real thing is but one thing. Understanding, doing the work to understand and that is something, especially when you free yourself from your context in order to do so. Over time, I have felt that done for me as much as I have. So, I only have the word grateful. I have always had a hope that it would be possible to meet all of you, I believe I would only be able to listen, I would not know what to say, except "thank you". As I come back and reread my own stuff, so much of it seems like it was written for the moment in the future when I do. Then, I read some of the older stuff that everyone here has contributed, and maybe because I have gotten a bit better at beinyg outside my own context and my own cognitive biases, it does seem like they were all written for me for a future time, such as this. It is all on a screen, just words maybe, then, it is not, I have read a historical amount of poetry and so often, they effleureate shit outside the lines they never get within, then, there is David....nothing like his directness still. Presently, I don't know. I have been needing this forum, maybe it is only a diary, it is a diary I have needed. Thank you all. Provided I am not booted out or exiled or excommunicated and I still seem to be able to remain here, then, both feet, are often here with a hiatus from time to time, of which, upon the commencement of this draggy shaggy little train of thought missive, I believe I have a lot of silence to work through for some time until, whatever is then, becomes apparent and for a time well, what dreams may come then, eh? I am grateful for this five and for all of you who have engaged here, however this has been such a durable thing, I don't know, but, at present, it is not history, it is part of life and the process of understanding understanding itself. Gracias muchachas y muchachos y todos otros!!!

[darkness0within]

We live in interesting times Anirbas.

While the world goes mad, we try to retain our sanity.

So much is changing. But of course, this is just the wheel turning full circle once more.

But always with a twist...

[anirbas]

Yes, indeed, Darkness, Yes, indeed.

I don't recognize the terrain of this world, anymore. Can't get the gps to work! Haha.