The Lonely Amphibian

[phantasm]

I am amphibious.
        I remember my childhood fondly, a world before the Internet 1.0.

        I remember buying music on cassettes, before CDs came into their own.

        I passed pen-and-paper notes in class between friends between points A and B in grade school.

        I watched the rise of modern electronics technology, from the Atari to present.
        I was born between 1977 and 1984. That makes me a Xennial,
           an in-between micro-generation between Boomers and Millenials.

I am a rarity.
        I am left-handed in a world of right-handed people.
        I am halfway between autistic and neurotypical, I don't fit comfortably in either camp.
        (And yes, it is possible to be halfway between autistic and neurotypical.)
        My personality is rare, consisting of perhaps 3% of the American populace.

I am amphibious.
        I was raised traditionally Christian.
        I have never turned my back on that heritage. But I have become so much more.
        I have a humanistic streak, a Gnostic streak, an agnostic streak,
        a quasi-mystical streak, a New Age streak, a naturalistic streak.
        I feel like I don't belong anywhere.

I am a rarity.
        I am a Xennial, but my parents were of the Silent Gen, who were old enough to remember
        WWII but too young to fight in it, old enough to remember the Great Depression but too young to work for a paycheck.
        The vast majority of Xennials had Boomers for parents. Most of my friends' parents were ten yrs younger than my Mom and Dad.


I am a rare, lonely amphibian. And right now that really sucks.
I want "My People." I want throngs of people, a rock concert,

or a sports stadium, packed to the gills with people my age,

with the experiences I had, with the kinds of parents I had,

with the difficulties I had.

People who KNOW what it's like to be me, through and through.

I want to be with people who "look like me," not racially, but experientially.

I long for companionship.

But we are so rare, so scattered, so surrounded by those unlike us.

Those who are like me-- We are aliens. We are strangers in a strange land. We are sojourners, searching for an ephemeral homeland.

Just for once, it would be nice to know what it's like to be a super-majority, to be born in a generation to be reckoned with.

[artolmaeus]

this is a wonderful personal writing...I enjoyed reading it twice so far.