I Do Not Understand

[anirbas]

This world we share giant bipedal
Ants we spread across the planet
Unlike the tiny insects we do nothing
For this globe we inhabit willy nilly

We spread destruction where our feet tread
We sow dissension and hatred in our wake
We have pillaged and destroyed Mother Earth
Bringing about a quagmire of climate change

We have wrought darkness where once was light

[artolmaeus]

Yes. I kinda feel this whole thing is a test of light in that our whole being is designed to channel darkness but to work light, is an effort....the world, I agree is a neutral canvas and it reflects what our hands have laid to it..I don't understand too damn well either but it seems we are the darkness being given a chance to purge in light, if only we will...such are the stories of Jesus, Buddha, the B'hai Ullah and countless others....not for worship but for example....and it is getting harder as the collective force of humanity moves and convolves and we are not islands either, we are all part of each other and so many of us are running so far to break the bonds we give to the words love and humanity and all the hope we collectively, at times, have, but hurt and anger are part and parcel with it and these states within certainly grow the bad fruit without...

[artolmaeus]

Yes. I kinda feel this whole thing is a test of light in that our whole being is designed to channel darkness but to work light, is an effort....the world, I agree is a neutral canvas and it reflects what our hands have laid to it..I don't understand too damn well either but it seems we are the darkness being given a chance to purge in light, if only we will...such are the stories of Jesus, Buddha, the B'hai Ullah and countless others....not for worship but for example....and it is getting harder as the collective force of humanity moves and convolves and we are not islands either, we are all part of each other and so many of us are running so far to break the bonds we give to the words love and humanity and all the hope we collectively, at times, have, but hurt and anger are part and parcel with it and these states within certainly grow the bad fruit without...

[anirbas]

After the past six years in this country, I am tired, I am worn out, I am ready for a break from it. I should have moved to England when I had the chance.
But, my daughter begged and insisted on finishing her high school agenda here. Plus, David no longer wished to live in England. Still doesn't.

[artolmaeus]

when I read the Song of Solomon, it is written by a man who has had everything he could ever want, do whatever he wanted and in the end, all of it resulted in the reflection that "all is vanity"....but Solomon was free the exercise his own will further than most anyone has....we are in a time where this is true of some people who have reached the heights of such "wealth" that there is nothing they cannot explore, and the pursuit of that is certainly pleasure, but, upon arrival, they are left with a rather dissatisfying report of what that arrival...somehow, I always see like the best state in this world is a river, better than a pond, a lake or the ocean....however, the ocean has a great second place, as long as there are tides, a river always flows, but what flows in the river, inevitably becomes a lake or an ocean, yet, there is still a river doing so, and it is flow....rivers flow from, lakes, flow from ponds, so even lakes or ponds, becoming rivers as they become part of something flowing, there is much more to them in that they are arriving but never fully "arrived". In England, with the richest history of mankind's flows, is flooded and mired to the point it is stagnant somewhat, though, before its history, the history England made as it was making it, is something wonderful but being in the aftermath of all that it has arrived to, I can understand what David feels about England...sometimes, this has about become part of the whole world, but like horses when they are running, birds when they are flying, singing or seeds that are sprouting, the travel to wither and shed---as long as a horse has a companion horse to run with, the running to the end is worth it, and that is not a state of anywhere, as to what the answer is after we fall to gravity, I get something out of Willie Nelson's song "Still is still moving to me". When the Bible says the meek shall inherit the earth, I think that is a curse on the meek, as by the time all that is left but the meek, the earth that is left after all the unmeek have had its way with it, is going to be in rather poor shape, if only then, the meek are builders, they make of whatever they have, it is not what they finalize, but the work itself they did to get it there. My favorite Bhagavad Gita verse, it is not the fruits of labor but the labor itself that is divine, in England, they certainly tax the fuck out of effort to feed all the lotus eaters the "society" they have arrived at has to take care of....David and you, Nir, to me, are still rivers, horses, a pair of hummingbirds looking for nectar....certainly America has seen its zenith and is busy building a "society" which, as its architect, Lyndon B. Johnson said would be a "great society" but in so being, is a great burden upon itself and all those who have to contend with it...I have looked at the Phillipines and many Asian countries as having been the lands where the meek have long ago inherited it from the Atillahs and the warlords and the kings and the samurais and the conquerors and in sharing humble foods and being together, there is the only merit of joy or happiness, regardless of surrounding, some of the truly richest people in this world, hardly have any means except that they have each other....for me, I found that in Kenya as part of some US peacekeeping mission I was fortunate to take part in as a medic, I ate with them, danced with them and could not speak their language but I saw their joy and happiness despite the horrid body odor and for a while there, I felt more a part of them than my own platoon or the other "Americans" with whom I shared culture or language with, because, there is something about being "sufficient for the day" and happy, that we have forgotten....somehow, recently, and not in the same vein as the rappers of today are causing a movement but even I have taken on the notion of "no days off" in my own way, as only doing, not buying, not spending, not even eating, but just doing, is the only thing satisfactory for being able to sleep and wake up to be doing more than it was the day previously, but, there is no destination for it, anymore, just, doing for doing's sake....what happens to God when He is done doing? Well, there is a history of what he did with all the fighting with his originals and creations alike and directing his creations to fight with his other creations....to what end? Such that, this point of darkness made me write a very insufficient poem, as the one gift you and David may have unknowingly given me here, is somewhat of a journal to write and say imperfectly and without restriction, if only to have somewhere to write it where, it may be shared, it may spring something, as you have said of me, it may serve my sense of "matriculation" in a process I still have more to learn about than I know, I do not know, for sure, but, this is somewhat the sense of things as they are at this moment and besides being more train of thought, in that I hope it could be more than the windings inside my head, it would give something in the windings of anyone who would then unwind alike, even the patterns of repetition and constancy that the source of much of our musings actually orbit around as we only give some things gravity and wish to leave all else behind....and that is still a mystery as how to answer how it is at all....at once miraculaous, miserable and lonely as even happiness is a shitty goal as unhappiness is, as we have to experience both as we are neither misery or joy, orgasm or celibacy, lonely or alone, empty or full whole or incomplete.....I think Solomon was wrong that all is vanity, but, most is distraction, at least from the all that matters...

[artolmaeus]

as I am not daily involved with you two, neither you are David are as interesting as you all are as a couple, because to me the enduring adaptations and work you have to do and there is some point to where, to me, the both of you have always been a couple that needed to be together, I am not a big adopter of the idea of soul mates, but there is work in the everyday, that you both do, of and for each other and for the whole the two of you, at times, are....oh my god I hope this is not too train of thought they way I have said it...kinda like Adam and Eve are both essential for the story to be what it is....there is a phrase that I feel originated in England and it was used by Freddy Mercury in a song, "please direct me in the right way", somehow, this "matriculation" aspect of me, seems to be asking that in the university of everyone and everything and thus, I am glad for your births, even the births of England and America and even the ideas and notions that drive us all, somewhere or even nowhere in particular(the song "we're on the road to nowhere" by the Talking Heads is playing in mah head)

There's a city in my mind
Come along and take that ride
And it's all right, baby it's all right

And it's very far away
But it's growing day by day
And it's all right, baby it's all right

I think today, Frampton would need to write a new song, "do I feel like you do?"

and I will indulge myself here:

You woke up this morning, and you told me how you've been

life's hard, the yard, the shit you had to take upon the chin

you want to go back to some daydream, and you get this happy grin

and then you say, do you remember when

do I, I, feel like you do

do I, you, feel like you do

Talked about a friend, who had to do a little time

the problem was, there really was no crime

the thing is they got busted, for wanting something else

kinda got bored of just sitting on the shelf

put on your horns, and let's just go and do the sin.....

do I, I, feel like they do

do I, I, feel like you do