fast read, read fast

[artolmaeus]

I know I don't care,

I don't care that I know,

I care that I don't know

I know that I don't know

I care that I don't care

I care and I know that I don't

I feel and I care about what I know

I know that I feel and care

I feel that I know I care

I care about how I feel and know

I don't know how I feel and care

I care that I feel I don't know why

Why do I feel, care and think at all

I know I am waiting on an answer to care and feel

I feel that I am waiting, to know care

Is this because of an accident that happened that I don't know about

I care and feel like I am in the emergency room

of a very insufficient hospital, and the bill is not worth the wait or care

I really cannot afford this bill, but I think I will wait

the cost is too high, I think

I know I can wait, I feel I have been waiting

Maybe it is a coma, maybe this is a hallucination

trapped in an entropied body, enjoying the dream,

the depths of delusion, I think so

maybe all that is, is inside my head, this whole universe

and even the black holes and the sewers are no dfferent than the forests

at least I see alot of giraffes, I know that I feel I got their names right

they are tall enough, to see above the trees and they are together

and they do things, but do they knowand think or feel

or are they just simply doing what it is that they do

and how do they know what to do

maybe it takes time from several generations to wait for the answer

what does it matter what they do, or that they have trees,

did the trees make them taller, would only a world of grass

would they have just remained groundhogs,

was I ever a pigeon, is that how I saw their heads

and am I a crow in a coma under a tree having a dream that I am a man

in a world where I am less than the humans, but as the life is leaving my crow body

and I can no longer fly, this is how my crow brain makes sense of it all

I have waited too long, I think there are no doctors

I know I am waiting for care, to think and to feel

like I will understand what to do, if I will do

but does thinking only make you think

and only doing gets things done

and the only way to know is to not always do what you think

but to think about what you've done

am I thinking too much

I know that I care about how I feel about thinking how much I don't care

[artolmaeus]

the doctor asked me, what do you think is the most energy consuming organ in your body,
I said, the heart, and he said I know it's the brain, and I felt that he was wrong
and I asked him how long the brain could live without the heart,
and are they both fighting for the same thing, how vauable is oxygen
then, we knew we have neglected the lungs, and why all this battle
all is one and one makes its part as all
and apart, each cannot be anything for long, as they are not the life together they are
that they are together is why there is life
then life has to be because of some unknown union
well, then, the most energy consuming organ in the body, is the body
maybe it is time to care how each part fits from smallest to tallest
and the doctor admitted to me how he did not care
because as long as everyone does not know,
it helps him make alot of money
and I asked how much energy goes into money rather than life
or do we not understand energy, money or life at all

so then he gave me prozac

is this what I was really waiting for

tell Jason I am sorry, I could not stop eating the lotuses

at least I can blame them and me

as to why I know I don't care