Post by Juan Castrocafe on Oct 16, 2006 11:24:43 GMT -6
you see a million things, so many times, it is only what you want to see
only what you want to expect to be there, in some preconceived way,
some "role". some "duty", some "entitlement" and it is because, because
this way, that way, it is because it is because it is because that is the way
it is, the way I believe it is, the way I was told, the way I prayed for,
the way I sangs to of for and about it, in every dance step I trod along
poking into insignificance of my own assertions, I never saw her as much
as I do now, and then, and now, she was waiting...as I put it all down
somehow I lost nothing, somehow, I gained nothing, somehow, I found
everything that was missing, it was missing right here, where I am, as I am
and I saw her then, waiting, hoping, giving...not taking..and I saw me, what
I did not like, what I did not want to be..who I had become, while I was busy
being,
an asshole...
so often though, this is universal, so often though, it is commonly everyday,
as if there is some "role" some "duty" some "entitlement" you get for living
that can justify everything and everyone who has spent a great deal of time
being,
an asshole...
and this is the era of the comeback kid, that in the midst of trying to be all the significant
otherwise intended better than that ever could be green grass across the fence, lost
in some whimsical journey deep in the sphincter of life, like some illuminated brown eye,
the almighty hindisght of the turd eye can then, at times, clear out the shit, leaving all that was
being,
an asshole,
free of its own shit to be yet so much more than the former,
ready to grow, move, be...
whole and happy, at peace, in harmony with the known and unknown,
being all and no thing at once,
now..without shame, without regret, unfettered to the actions, intentions entitlements
of all those signifying their adherance to the importance of all they do, when failing to
see those who so patiently wait on them, because at this moment, they are really, firmly
urgently, nothing matters more than the drama of this moment and all they can do, for
being,
assholes.........
only what you want to expect to be there, in some preconceived way,
some "role". some "duty", some "entitlement" and it is because, because
this way, that way, it is because it is because it is because that is the way
it is, the way I believe it is, the way I was told, the way I prayed for,
the way I sangs to of for and about it, in every dance step I trod along
poking into insignificance of my own assertions, I never saw her as much
as I do now, and then, and now, she was waiting...as I put it all down
somehow I lost nothing, somehow, I gained nothing, somehow, I found
everything that was missing, it was missing right here, where I am, as I am
and I saw her then, waiting, hoping, giving...not taking..and I saw me, what
I did not like, what I did not want to be..who I had become, while I was busy
being,
an asshole...
so often though, this is universal, so often though, it is commonly everyday,
as if there is some "role" some "duty" some "entitlement" you get for living
that can justify everything and everyone who has spent a great deal of time
being,
an asshole...
and this is the era of the comeback kid, that in the midst of trying to be all the significant
otherwise intended better than that ever could be green grass across the fence, lost
in some whimsical journey deep in the sphincter of life, like some illuminated brown eye,
the almighty hindisght of the turd eye can then, at times, clear out the shit, leaving all that was
being,
an asshole,
free of its own shit to be yet so much more than the former,
ready to grow, move, be...
whole and happy, at peace, in harmony with the known and unknown,
being all and no thing at once,
now..without shame, without regret, unfettered to the actions, intentions entitlements
of all those signifying their adherance to the importance of all they do, when failing to
see those who so patiently wait on them, because at this moment, they are really, firmly
urgently, nothing matters more than the drama of this moment and all they can do, for
being,
assholes.........
thoroughly enjoyed this stream-of consiousness gift, lw! and the next one???
